Classicist’s Gift Guide 2022
For That Special Classicist in Your Life
Last Christmas
I gave you a Loeb
But the very next day
You gave it away
???
Who does that
It was very rude
Besides now that inflation has run rampant and Loeb online has an actual search function the book is just going to degrade in value anyway
Anyway here’s a gift guide.
For some dark academia vibes
Three Graces tote bag
($17.60)
It says, “I remembered my reusable bag for the store, and I also giggle at butts.”
Daphne and Apollo wax seal stickers
($5.95)
Look, we can’t all spend our days making ASMR wax melting TikToks. Some of us can put the TikToks on in the background while we use these wax seal stickers and fake it.
“ “Beware of Greeks bearing the hand you’re dealt.” — Homer” — Michael Scott
The Fates tee
(From $27.92)
If you wear this t-shirt just to run to the store real quick before you shower, the Fates will ensure that you bump into that person who’s writing a dissertation on the same topic as you and is always impeccably well groomed.
Haven’t you always wanted an unidentified Greek woman to hold the curtains in your moody, melancholy office?
Thread of Life print
(From $14.39)
Go ahead, just cut it now. Twitter’s going down anyway. Snip snip.
For some minimalist vibes
Minimalist Vesuvius tee
(From $26.08)
Those who get it, get it, and those who don’t, don’t.
Medusa necklace
(£20)
Would look great with aforementioned Vesuvius t-shirt.
Minimalist Ostia print
(From $9.78)
Pompeii is just so mainstream.
(Get it, because it was like. In the middle of the lava flow. Mainstream.)
Ouzo Hour archaeological drawing
(From $15)
It’s always ouzo hour somewhere.
Sphinx jotter
($9)
For writing riddles, aka brilliant research ideas that you scribble down in the middle of the night but magically become indecipherable by the next morning.
For some eclectic, DIY vibes
Archaeologist cosmetic pouch
($17.37)
Fill it with skincare when your pores need excavation.
Greek amphora washi tape
($3.16)
Hang your amphora poster with amphora tape! So meta.
Ritual Purposes ornament
($17.95)
Hehehe.
Pandora’s Jar enamel pin
($10.11)
Love that there’s a flying bug on this pin, because we all know at least 50% of the evils in Pandora’s jar were just various types of insects. I’m look at you, cockroaches. (Just kidding, please don’t make me look at you)
The Odyssey earrings
($12.99)
I don’t have anything clever to say about these, they’re just the effing cutest.
2023 Goddess wall calendar
($38.03)
A reminder to the goddesses in your life that they are goddesses 365 days a year.
Mirabile! Stamp
($20)
Give yourself a stamp on the hand every morning for getting out of bed. Go ahead, you deserve it.
For vibes that defy categorization but remain immaculate
Polychrome Roman portraits espresso cup & saucer set
($68.60)
The bright colors will wake you up almost as effectively as the espresso!
Solidarity, Not Charity sticker from Sportula Europe
($2.16)
Support Sportula Europe the way columns support a building! By buying a sticker.
Playmobil Odysseus and Circe
($22.99)
IT COMES WITH PIGS AND A LITTLE BAG OF WINDS I CAN’T
Akrotiri dolphins flip flops
($20)
A subtle reminder of the terror of Ancient Roman dolphins.
Pompeiian Bacchus apron
($21.06)
I’m obsessed with Bacchus as a bunch of grapes pouring wine into the mouth of a cheetah. This is the energy I crave.
Greek owl tie
($55)
If you wear it on your flight to Greece, you can literally bring owls to Athens.
This is just a cool shirt.
Or, if all else fails, ride off into the sunset in green and yellow style:
Tori Lee is still shopping, six years later.
