Useless Latin Mnemonics
By Two Latin Teachers Trying To Avoid Real Work
There is a lot of information to memorize when you’re learning Latin. Thankfully, there are also a host of mnemonics to aid in these efforts. Who hasn’t used Roman Noodles Toss And Turn, Save Them! to remember the names of the seven kings of Rome? MOST, MUST, ISN’T is a lifesaver when you’re trying to remember personal endings. And don’t even try to form the future tense without chanting “Bo, Bis, Boo, 1 & 2; A & E, 4 & 3”—or you might accidentally slap a -BI- infix into the future of a third conjugation verb like a n00b.
Latin mnemonics are incredibly useful learning tools. Those in this list are … not.
Stages of The Roman Empire:
Seven hundred fifty three
Was the start of monarchy
Five oh nine Republic start
Twenty seven if you’re smart
Empire’s dawn you’ll recognize
Four seven six was its demise
Or eighty and a hundred four,
or one hundred fifty three and four-
-teen
PIF P. PluFuP (“Piff Pee Ploo Fupp”)
Tenses
1-2-3-S-1-2-3-P (“one two three ess one two three pee”)
Person and Number
Uses of the Ablative:
Absolutely separate attendant circumstance
Specify and instrument and place where? In your pants
Bigger by comparison and different by degree
Place from which and cause and description/quality
Who did it? Who Accompanied? Time within or when?
S-E-D-C-A-P prepositions are your friend!
Nimble Gerald Deosculates Alluring Antique Vizards
Noun Cases
We Bleach Avians
Present Subjunctive Vowels
Siii (“sigh”)
Moods
Conditionals:
Santa brings presents, which is simply the best.
In the future he will bring gifts at your request,
more vivid for their wrapping and bows.
Should he bring more? Less vivid I suppose.
But if this were not happening yet,
contrafactual presents you won’t get.
Had this never in your life occurred?
Past contrafactual would have been the word.
But, generally speaking,
Whenever presents you are sneaking,
Tis a perfect situation
When you leave no indication (of your theft).
And whenever in the past
Too many gifts amassed,
Why — phew! Perfect solution:
Wealth redistribution!
Please, Naomi, Tally My Vizards
Person, #, Tense, Mood, Voice
PassAct
Voice
Any Tyrannosaur Catches Carthaginian Narwhals, Gallant Orcas, Very Very Tame Dolphins
Suetonius’ XII Emperors, minus Julius Caesar
Roman Public Offices:
If you wish to be a public boon,
Get for thee a military tribune-
-ship and thence be quaestor if you please,
Or then be tribune of the plebs.
A pleb you’re not? Well then meanwhile
You and your friends become aedile-
-s. In any case, at thirty-nine,
The praetorship may be all thine
— In special cases, peregrinus
Or urbanus but don’t leave us
Beyond ten days — but anyway,
Let’s say you want to rule, ok?
In that case, when your years are long
(Forty/forty-two/beyond),
Two men may consulships attain,
But careful lest between the twain
Dispute arises, for in that case
Vetoes severely slow the pace
Of any legislation. But where was I?
Ah yes, of course! Behold: the master of the horse!
Should a dictator perchance arise,
This office could be your special prize!
But back to normal operation:
Would you like a foreign station
To plunder and perhaps “protect”?
Proconsul is what you should expect.
Also Propraetor — (did I forget
To mention that role at the outset?)
But back to the Cursus, a Censor you may be,
An honor every fifth year is permitted to see.
Once ex-consul or ex-Censor status is attained,
The Princeps of the senate you could be named
(But only in those cases where the person is patrician).
And now at last you can be named a Cursus Honoritian!
Sarah Scullin is Managing Editor of Eidolon.
Jason Nethercut is Sarah Scullin’s husband.
