What Would Novae Famae Call You?
Have you been visiting Novae Famae—the less moderated, more vitriolic resurrection of anonymous message board Famae Volent, now with lots more scrolling!—lately in order to viciously mutilate your last remaining shred of hope for Classics as a discipline? If so: first, why? Second, you may have noticed that a certain charming commenter has gone full-Trump and started spamming the interminable thread with repetitive nicknames for our colleagues. If you haven’t been assigned an endearment yet, fear not: the Eidolon team is here to tell you what you’d be called, should you be unlucky enough to attract the attention of the Eye of Sauron. Or, you know, you could go and look at some owl videos or something.
Gender
Men — [leave blank]
Everyone else—Dr.
Birth Month
January — Woke
February— Self-Loathing
March — Elitist
April — Fragile
May — Unhinged
June — Ivy League
July — Hysterical
August — Alarmist
September — Slanderous
October — Triggered
November — Paranoid
December — Low-IQ
First Letter of Last Name
A — Keyboard Warrior
B —Wannabe Sociologist
C — Impostor
D — Mansplainer
E — SJW
F — Archaeologist
G — Inside Hire
H — Moron
I — Hack
J — Righteousness
K — Blogger
L — Fake Classicist
M — Microaggression
N — Brigadier
O — Outrage
P — Diversity Hire
Q — Lunch-Stealer
R — Crybaby
S — Snowflake
T — Communist
U — Cultural Marxist
V — Hyperbole
W — Decolonizer
X — ABD
Y — Victim
Z — Privilege
If Eidolon were a person, it would be Dr. Fragile SJW.
