Who Said It: Ovid or Dwight Schrute?

It’s Valentine’s Day, and what could set the mood better than a quiz featuring the two most charming smooth operators to ever offer advice on romance? We already know rom-coms and Ancient Roman lovers have more in common than you might have thought. Believe it or not, the same is true of the Ars Amatoria and The Office! To illustrate these striking similarities, we’ve overlaid quotes by the two masters of love (including lines from this Ovid translation) over photos of the proud owner of Schrute Farms. Can you tell the difference between their diction? Don’t forget: Bears. Beets. Battle of Actium.

1. WHO SAID THIS??

2. Ok this is totally Dwight. Right? Right??

3. Ovid would look pretty cute in bobblehead form.

4. Bonus question: Aviators. Who wore them better?

5. *smolder*

6. This image comes from one of the top five cold opens ever on the Office.

7. Assistant *to the* Regional Manager.

8. Not creepy at all!

9. Ok Ovid and Dwight are basically interchangeable.

10. DEFINITELY not creepy at all.

Check your answers!
1. Ovid, Ars Amatoria 1.281
2. Dwight, 2.13
3. Dwight, 3.15
4. Ovid, Ars Amatoria 1.29
5. Dwight, 3.3
6. Ovid, Ars Amatoria 1.49
7. Ovid, Tristia 4.10.33
8. Dwight, 4.03–04
9. Ovid, Tristia 4.10.57
10. Dwight, 5.8

1–3 correct: You’re a Novice Office Ovid! You literally can’t tell the difference between a Roman poet who lived 2,000 years ago and an early-2000s NBC sitcom. Yikes.

4–6 correct: You’re Rather Mediocre! You probably wouldn’t make it too far in the cursus honorum, but at least your stapler isn’t in Jell-O…or is it?

7–9 correct: You’re the World’s Best Boss! You know your Ancient Rome from your Scranton, PA. With any luck, Augustus won’t send you into exile.

10 correct: You definitely cheated.

Tori Lee is Eidolon’s Assistant (to the) Regional Manager.