Dancing On My Own • Calum Scott
*that noise Sideshow Bob makes when he steps on a rake*
Calum Scott is a Britain’s Got Talent graduate. He auditioned with this song, and it went so well he’s gone and put it out as a single.
It’s okay.
This whole situation we’re in could have been avoided had we, Australia, as a nation, been better people.
First of all, here’s Calum Scott’s official version of Dancing On My Own, which is being played by Hit Network and KIIS Network stations across Australia.
If it sounds familiar, Cyrus did it almost identically on The X Factor Australia’s Five Seat Challenge last year — awful moustache and all — and you’d almost guess that’s where Calum pinched some inspiration from:
For the record, a studio version of this is on Cyrus' album Cyrus. That version of the song could have been released as a single, or we all could have just gone and bought a copy and it would have charted anyway, and then we wouldn’t be in this situation.
Now, because we’re all bad people, here’s the bloody Tiesto version, which is being played on the Nova Network and sometimes at night on the KIIS Network and Hit Network:
And of course, we could have avoided all of this if we’d tried a bit harder and bought Robyn’s infinitely superior version when she released it in 2010.
So now that you know the song is about a girl fancying someone making out with another girl, changing the lyrics to half the chorus doesn’t really make sense. Are you watching the subject of the song kiss her, or are you not the guy she’s taking home?
So, some alternative lyric interpretations of Calum’s version:
- He’s just not paying attention to who the subject is pashing on the dancefloor, which is Calum’s fault
- The subject of the song is bisexual, and pashes a girl on the dancefloor before taking a guy home (hooray for bi representation, booo for perpetuating the idea that all bisexual people are promiscuous)
- The subject of the song is making out with someone who is gender fluid, which, y’know, works for me
On to the important bit. Where do we rank each of these versions?
