I support Miley’s vagina. Here’s why you should, too.
But can we stop talking about it already? “And we can’t stop…And we won’t stop…”
I’ve loved this song since this first time I heard it and bumped it on the regular. I have no shame about it. This latest version, http://bit.ly/17XwHmh , just makes me love it even more, and really showcases the fact that, surprise, Miley actually has a really beautiful, strong voice. (More of that here: http://bit.ly/1e9axiw. Get ready to eat your words with some Lilac Wine to wash it down.)
More than that though, I’ve been so delighted by the ugly, controversial topics it’s forced from the shadows. Race, sex, good-girl-gone-bad, Disney, country music, and a talented coming-of-age woman: it has all the makings of a great American tale we just love to hate.
It’s been fascinating watching the evolution of this story. First, general dismissal and annoyance upon its initial release, then all-out outrage after the VMAs, followed by escalation as Sinead O’Connor wrote a letter of “warning” to Miley. Subsequently, there were the people everywhere clamoring to add their “me, too”s and “yeah, what she said!”s, and finally, most recently, there was unexpected backlash of these attacks: a wave of support, sympathy, and encouragement from those who see the hypocrisy of this all, and understand that Miley is a woman coming into her own in the public eye in a way that our society still isn’t comfortable with.
I fall in this latter camp. From the beginning I failed to see where all the frothy indignation was coming from. Oh, a young woman grinding around in her underwear? *yawn* We’re still getting upset over this? Oh, a white person that is embracing “black culture”? Sorry, why are we still acting like this is something new?
But beyond the lack of novelty on her part (sorry, Miley. I support you, but I won’t give it to you for creativity), I also still can’t understand why we’re meant to feel so completely infuriated or alarmed by her behavior.
Race
Yes, I’ve read the articles. Yes, I understand that she is being accused of appropriating black culture for her own “street cred” gain. But what I fail to see is why, in this day and age when black culture is a formidable force in the entertainment industry, dominating several domains and acting as cultural beacon for those wanting to be the coolest of cool, this should not be seen as a nod to that—as a pop star admiring and acknowledging the freshness of black culture. And in this modern age, can (or should) these manners of dress, speech, dance, attitude, etc. even belong to any one group? Isn’t the beautiful thing about our culture today that we can intermix, hybridize, and experiment across all lines, including race? Why is black culture off limits? (Honest question. Maybe I’m missing something here.)
I don’t see that her adoption of some aspects of hip-hop style was demonstrated in a mocking, demeaning, or belittling way. Yeah, she slapped some girls’ asses in the video. Yeah, these girls were shaking their shit provocatively. Is that any different than black people in black videos? White people in white videos? Are we still so sensitive to any possible sign of racism and subjugation that we can’t have a white girl slap a black girl’s ass? If so, isn’t that only strengthening the racial divide? Whites, you stay on your side. Blacks, you stay on yours. Can’t be mixing now, you kids. Wouldn’t want to cause any trouble.
Look, I’m not saying we all live in a happy world where racism doesn’t exist, or where there isn’t still a very real power differential in general, but this outrage just seems a little misplaced and counterproductive. It’s very possible, believe it or not, that a white girl who once sang country music and was a Disney poster child, later discovered hip hop, black culture, and yes, twerking, and was moved by it, resonated with it, and decided to have fun with it as part of her evolving identity as an individual and performer. That’s a cool thing, you guys. That’s a step in the right direction in my book. It’s breaking down race and cultural lines.
Sex
Oy. Enough with the slut shaming, okay? I feel like this has been covered ad nauseum at this point, but apparently (Sinead), we still need to remind people that it’s okay for a young woman of legal age to embrace her sexuality and own it. It’s not our place to assume where it’s coming from, and, in fact, it is incredibly patriarchal to assume and/or insinuate that it’s coming solely from her management team, and she is just another poor, innocent victim whose burgeoning sexuality is being exploited by the record industry.
Look, I remember what it was like to be twenty. I remember what it was like to suddenly discover my sexuality, and in turn realize that I had this immensely powerful entity under my control, and mine alone if I so chose. (As my mom said about my breasts, “Honey, those things are like loaded guns. Ya gotta be careful where you point them when you walk in a room.”) I remember beginning to understand the way people responded to my sexuality, the way it felt to be in command of it, the way it was this complex, multifaceted energy force I could manipulate and experiment with.
I had to grow into it by trying different things on for size. I had to learn some lessons about it the hard way. And yes, I had to wear some silly outfits and dance around sometimes making obscene gestures. The difference is that I didn’t have the world watching me as I did it.
Give her a break, okay? She’s doin’ her thang. She’s pushing the boundaries to see where they are for herself, and that, too, is a cool thing, you guys. We should be supporting her in that. Three cheers for women being bold with their sexuality and being comfortable enough to experiment with it in new (for her), fun, and very unabashed ways! Why are we not celebrating that? Isn’t it her choice? Isn’t promoting a world where women can have this type of free choice exactly what feminism is all about?
Why are we still telling women how, where, when, and with whom it’s appropriate to be sexual and sexual with, like they don’t know any better for themselves and we have a parental duty to protect them? Isn’t that the entire basis for essentially every move to debase women and keep them oppressed? To make decisions for them because the poor little delicate things, they are much too susceptible and cotton-brained to know what’s good for them? Jesus Christ, guys. Enough.
Instead of focusing all this energy on telling girls to cover up and educating them on the societal dangers of being sexual, how about we spend that energy telling boys (and girls) to respect women (yes, they can still be respected even if they are wearing hot pants, believe it or not! *gasp* See My Short Skirt: http://bit.ly/17XvQCf), and to not harass them, rape them, or make assumptions about them based on their clothing or behavior.
While we’re at it, let’s teach them that there are two responsible parties in any sexual exchange. That’s right. I’m looking at you, Robin Thicke.
So can we please give these accusations a rest already? (And we can’t stop…And we won’t stop…) I appreciate the dialogue it’s brought up, but let’s have the conversation evolve already. Let’s look at the bigger picture of the implications of these criticisms. Why are we still so upset by a white girl slapping a black girl’s ass? Why are we still so upset by a white girl slapping her own ass? I know it’s your party, and you can do what you want to, but there are more important, deeper issues to discuss.
