Member-only story
Can I Honor my Polyamorous Values Even When it Hurts?
My long-term partner is dating while I’m craving monogamy
This morning, I woke up feeling sad about the way things have been over the past six months. My long term partner has been dating someone seriously for the first time since we opened our relationship seven years ago, while I’ve been craving the comforts of monogamy.
I’m slowly coming to accept the way things are, but I’m still struggling. I have to remind myself that I too wanted polyamory, and likely still do, even though it’s hard to remember why right now.
So I did what you might expect of someone living in the modern era to do when faced with a challenge, I googled it.
I typed “Why am I polyamorous?” into the search bar of my phone while still lying in bed, buried under blankets that were much too warm for the weather.
I did this in the same way I might have googled “Why do cats chase their tails?” or “Why do I have a rash after being in the sun?”
Maybe, just like the cat and the rash, I already had some sense of the answer, I just needed to be reminded. Maybe I was hoping to see it written down in a slightly different way than I had it in my own brain, as a way to feel a bit more confident that it’s a real thing.
