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Session With My Inner Therapist at 4:33 am Last Night
Polyamory is just too much sometimes but also, but I kinda want to date again, too
Cw: reference to suicide
Therapist: What’s going on?
Me: It’s too much.
Too much?
It’s too much to sleep, I can’t sleep because of all of this stuff, the layers and layers of stuff.
Want to tell me about it?
Well, Drake told me about a girl he wants to see. After what, a year of monogamishness, of our unofficial polyamory break, he’s telling me about someone he wants to see.
And how is that for you?
Both scary and a relief.
Hmm… so you have a part that’s scared and a part that’s relieved.
Yes. The scared part, of course, I know it’s trauma. Last year, or whenever that was, I’m losing track of time, it was straight up traumatic. When religious people say, “God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle,” I don’t know what the fuck they mean, because I couldn’t handle it. Without drugs, without new friends, without old friends, without my mom, without you… I don’t know what I would have done.
