Into the Wilderness
Day 5 Wednesday 31st July 2019
Some pray first thing in the morning I look forward to pressing the coffee machine and getting my first cappuccino of the day. In the large dining room, I sit where the sun shines most. Nutella and toast, then my granola and then maybe some fruit. The room is now familiar I nod and say hi as our eyes meet.
Stephen sits opposite me. I have noticed him around the hostel but have not yet spoken. I am content to wait these days whereas in a previous life I would be rushing in to talk.
We get into a conversation about ‘the Northern Irish’ and their presence in the US known as Scotch-Irish. Our conversation came to an abrupt end when I heard my name called. Each morning I have heard people being called for tours who are late still drinking coffee and eating toast. Now I am one of them! I proclaim, “ I thought it said 8 15?” Only later to realise it was 0800 — 15 00. My brain saw what was not there and made it up. My own judgement of the others now fell on me.
The jeep was ready to go and the passenger front seat awaited me. I apologised to the occupants, they were gracious. Nir ( means soil in Hebrew) was the jeep driver and our guide.
It was as if he had just picked up a group of friends. We were from the Netherlands, Germany, Brazil and of course me from another planet. He shared a photo of his two kids as if to reassure us that we would return. He talked forever about his beloved Tania.
I was surprised how soon we hit the Judean desert and suddenly we were in this white expanse. I saw a creature move, Nir tells us it is a Rock Hyrax closely related to elephants. As we drive Bedouin appear with their sheep and goats. Nir is well known in these parts, a bit like a postman delivering the odd canister of petrol for one of the shepherd’s motorbike. He waves and a wave comes back. He stops open the electric window and in pops the head of the Bedouin shepherd. They have a conversation in Arabic.
So why goats with the sheep? According to Nir goats are more intelligent than sheep and they motivate the sheep to keep moving. Gives a new meaning to Eashoa’s, ‘sheep and goats’ stories.
Our first stop is on the mountain, according to Nir, where the High Priest on Yom Kippur brought the Scapegoat and threw it off as a substitute for the people’s sins. I am reminded that the account in Leviticus indicates that the scapegoat may not have been killed but rather sent away into the desert when the sins of the people were placed on it by the High Priest.
How many times in my life have I heard the stories that occurred in this place and imagined and imagined and imagined? Once again a felt a wave of completion come over me as if everything that I had believed in my mind was now right present. It changed nothing, it changed everything. The only thing I could liken it to was how I have heard and imagined the afterlife. This was as if I had died and gone to heaven. I imagine it could be a similar experience and I think that is why there was such an intensity of feeling.
Nir loves his music and he blended this with driving through the wilderness. The videos tell the stories.
Now when I read the Hebrew or Christian bible I can use my imagination to transport me to this place. It confirms what I always knew.
What do you do after such a trip? I returned to the Hostel. For the next couple of hours, I had to allow what I experienced to settle in me.
A soft chair welcomed me in the communal area. After a while, I needed more space. A quiet spot in the basement was found. I know I am repeating myself but when you experience what you have always imagined it has an impact on all aspects of who we are.
Time had passed when I noticed Stephen coming down the steps. I thought, “So we are going to resume the conversation from this morning.”
We began to talk and perhaps like two musicians we had been schooled by the same teacher but experienced ‘the teacher’ in different physical places.
I had wondered who else may have been asked to be in Jerusalem at the same time. Roshann, the Russian Jewish woman, I have met on Monday and subsequently bumped into again seemed to be one it seemed Stephen was another.
We started our discourse around 4 30 pm and it continued to 10 that night. What I found incredible was how someone could have walked the same path. So if you can imagine just like going to Jerusalem, from wherever you are at a time you will converge with others travelling to Jerusalem and at a point, you will be in the same space, there is also a spiritual path that we travel. I had assumed it was my personal path but now I could see in talking with Stephen that it was and is a path that others travel. Sure our surroundings are different in the physical and the encounters and experiences are different but the path is the same.
So what is the path? The path is one that beckons you on when often you are nervous because you are stepping beyond what you know. You decide to walk on because you either stay where you are or you run up and down the past with the familiar. The familiar is good and it is still nourishing but there is more. Ultimately you walk alone on the path although you meet others along the way. I say alone but there is the inner guide, the particle of God that seeks to find its way home, the path is its way home. I sense the path does not end until it walks into God.
My experience of the path which was also that of Stephen’s was and is that as we walk it we lose our selves and the particle become more revealed. Losing ourselves has meant leaving behind beliefs that helped for a time but not for all time. Curiously in losing ourselves we become more expansive.
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