Get to Know Dior Vargas, Creator of the People of Color & Mental Illness Photo Project
An Interview with Dior Vargas
An Interview with Dior Vargas, creator of the People of Color & Mental Illness Photo Project and editor of The Color Of My Mind, a photo essay book based on the project.
Content warning: trauma, suicide prevention, and burnout
Tell us about yourself!
I’m a mental health activist born and raised in Manhattan, New York. I’m in school right now getting a Master’s in Public Health. I graduate in May so that’ll be exciting. When it comes to hobbies, I would say it’s my activism. I really don’t have much time to get into other hobbies. I like to watch Netflix or Hulu when I have downtime to decompress.
Why did you start doing mental health activism?
In 2013, I decided I wanted to focus more on mental health because I was focusing on so many other different issues. I was all over the place. I wasn’t really focused on one topic. I decided to research mental health and start the process of sharing my story. While doing online research, I quickly realized that mental health is a very whitewashed topic. Even notable people or celebrities who are mentioned as having mental illness are mostly, if not all, white.
I wanted to see what I could do to help change the representation of mental illness. In September 2014, I started the People of Color & Mental Illness Photo Project. The project started with me asking people to share the project and submit photos. It was a slow start. It comes to no surprise that asking strangers to share their experiences with mental illness online is difficult given that mental health is very stigmatized.
As a result, I decided to share my photo as well. Not only did I want to share that I dealt with mental illness, but I also wanted to show that I was passionate about bringing awareness. I think sharing my photo gave people who were interested in sharing a sense of connection. They felt like they could trust me and share their story as well. After that, I started getting more submissions. There’s over a hundred right now! It’s slowed down since, but I think it’s something that people needed at that moment. I’m really happy it gained popularity and helped to spread awareness.
It’s been a number of years since you launched the People of Color & Mental Illness Photo Project. How has it changed you?
I’m still in contact with some of the people who participated in the project. Some of those people have become friends. I wanted people who participated in the project to know that they could contact me if they needed anything. I also understood that there were people who wanted to move on after participating. There was a sense of community that was built around the project and I’m grateful for that.
The experience of creating the project taught me so much about the diversity of people’s experiences with mental illness. Yet everything felt so relatable. Through The Color Of My Mind, a photo essay book based from the project, I learned a lot about how self-reflective we are forced to be because we’re constantly trying to figure out who we are and how we live day-to-day. It’s incredible to see just how resilient people are. However, there is a cost to being resilient. People work hard to be better and feel better within themselves.
People of color have humanity and we need to show that in our mental health representations.
What have you done since?
After starting the online photo project, I started getting invitations to speak all over the country. In September 2015, I had my first paid speaking engagement at the University of Texas at Austin during their Suicide Prevention Week. They reached out to me to speak and covered travel expenses. It was the first time I felt like my work was legitimized. Someone was investing in me and that felt both really nerve-wracking and amazing at the same time.
Since then, I’ve lost count of how many talks I’ve done which is funny. I’ve done a lot of panel discussions, keynotes, and workshops. The audience has ranged from several people to hundreds of people. It’s still very amazing to be able to speak to so many people about my experience. I still get nervous, but it doesn’t stop me from being willing to share my story. Not only do I share my personal story, but I also share the unique stigmas that impact people of color. I talk to a lot of students of color about navigating predominantly white institutions and seeking mental health support in school. It’s been really fun and rewarding to get to do a lot of gigs.
It takes a lot of emotional labour to do activism of any kind, especially activism at the intersection of mental health and social justice. What do you do to take care of yourself?
It does become very overwhelming and burdensome to constantly share my story. After each speaking engagement, I do feel very exhausted. Not only am I tired from the travel, but also from reliving the stories I tell.
I think it’s funny because this is probably the worst way to cope. I do “productive procrastination”, where I procrastinate on one thing by working on something else as a distraction. I’m also trying to be less hard on myself. Let’s say I don’t get something done. It’s not the end of the world.
I try to get my mind off of things by watching Netflix and Hulu. I’m really hoping I can find more things to do that help me take a step back and really take care of myself. I was thinking of maybe trying yoga. Yoga is one of those activities people often recommend for improving mental health and wellness which can come across as annoying because some people think it cures depression etc. In general, I want to open myself to more things that will help me practice self-care.
Why should mental health be taken seriously in Latinx communities?
Immigration is one of the biggest issues that’s impacting our communities. Colorism and racism constantly affect our communities as well. These are all topics I talk about in my talks, especially when it comes to acknowledging my light-skin privilege. Latinx communities are very diverse and it’s important that we have a discussion about our internal issues. Being open and honest about our emotions and experiences will improve things.
Talking about mental health in Latinx families is challenging. We need to talk about it in relatable and approachable ways rather than simplifying or dumbing it down.
Mental health terminology needs to be more accessible so that people feel like there’s a way they can enter the conversation.
Being able to share what you’re going through with your family is necessary for survival. There is a lot of generational trauma that needs to be discussed as well.
On the topic of generational trauma, have you been able to have conversations about mental health with an older generation?
I have had very few so far. It would be really great for me to have more conversations in the future. A lot of my talks happen at colleges and universities where I interact with students who are young adults.
There are few older people who have shared their perspectives as participants in The Color Of My Mind, which shows that they are very open and willing to talk about mental health.
It really sucks that the older we get the less emotional support we tend to get. Elders, for instance, tend to experience a lot of loneliness and depression. Getting older should also be part of the mental health conversation.
Even though I do not consider my mom as old, she’s started to become more open about her own mental health to me.
Have you been able to have conversations with your family?
I have been able to in various ways as I got older. I think it was easier for my family to deal with me opening up to the public when my work was on a smaller scale. Once I started becoming more well-known, they started to express how they felt about it. They felt like I was airing our dirty laundry.
Things got better over time. My mom says she’s proud about how open and vulnerable I am. It’s weird that she looks up to me. I think to myself, “That’s not what a mom is supposed to do!” As a result, I feel like I’ve started to become proud of myself as well. Everything I do is for her. My mom raised me as a single parent and that’s very hard work. She did so much for me whether she believes it or not. I’m just trying to become a better person and make my family proud.
Why did you decide to get a Master’s in Public Health?
I love the work I do with mental health activism but I wasn’t sure how much more I could improve the system by just giving personal talks or giving workshops to students. I do think this makes a difference but I wanted to see what else I could accomplish. I wanted to professionalize my work. I started looking into graduate programs in New York. I realized I wanted to have an impact on policy. I ended up getting into the two schools I applied to, namely New York University (NYU) and the City University of New York (CUNY). I decided to go with NYU because I received a scholarship and because of the reputation and connections.
To be honest, it’s been very rough being in school again. You have to get back into the swing of being a student again. It’s been two years and it’s almost over! I’ve learned so much and I’m looking forward to starting my new career.
I want to keep doing mental health activism, including speaking engagements. Right now, I’m trying to figure out what my job title would be when I graduate. It’s hard when you have so many interests!
Do you have any general advice when it comes to showing support to loved ones struggling with their mental health?
Check in with them as often as you can and understand that people have their own lives. I put reminders on my phone to check in with people. Sending someone a simple, “I’m thinking of you” goes a long way. A lot of people with mental illness feel like they’re bothering people. It helps to create a space where they know they are being thought of and can reach out for support.
Letting people vent and not assuming that you know what they need is a good way to show support.
Everyone has their own lives so you have to find a balance between offering support to others and asking for support for yourself. It’s hard. We don’t live in a society where that comes easy to offer support to each other.
On Twitter, you can see people going through rough times. Often times, people respond with a list of crisis hotlines. Sometimes people call them, other times they don’t. Resources are great, but just being there for another person can be really helpful.
It’s important the hotlines are equipped with trained responders. Crisis Text Line, a free, 24/7 text line in the US, is a really great resource. I used to volunteer with them. For some, it can be easier to share via text than through a phone call. Support comes from multiple places — hotlines, therapy, medication, and sharing with family and friends.
Social media breaks are becoming more common as people acknowledge the negative effects social media has on our mental health. What do you think of these breaks?
I didn’t delete my Facebook account, but I did remove the app from my phone. I will periodically log in to check for updates. Limiting my access to Facebook has been really helpful. I would love to remove Instagram as well!
There are well-known activists, like me, on social media that take breaks and it hasn’t ruined their work. But I still worry that if I completely remove myself from social media people will stop following my work. I also know that my well-being is more important than my “brand”.
However, I definitely don’t want to be seen as a brand. I feel like being supportive of people and being present for them requires being online. I don’t want to completely disappear. I do think reputation and brand are two different things. Reputation is more about one’s character, so to me, that’s more meaningful than a brand.
Do you want to give any shoutouts to individuals or organizations that mean a lot to you?
It’s funny because I remember reading Davia Roberts’ interview and she mentioned Imade, founder of Depressed While Black. Imade is such an amazing individual. She’s so open and honest. She’s also very funny. She always brings a smile to my face.
I really admire A’Driane Nieves, she is such an amazing human being. The work she’s doing with the Tessera Arts Collective to showcase women of color is so revolutionary. She’s really captured her personal experiences in her art and built a supportive community for women of color. I look up to her a lot.
I feel like Latinas don’t support Black women enough. I want to be able to amplify their work and support them in any way I can.
My mom constantly inspires me. She’s gone through so much in her life. She’s someone that really helped me become who I am. I mean, even more so, my grandmother, because my mom was a single parent and working all the time. My grandmother helped raise me and she has always been supportive. Even though I always hated school, she always told me she was proud of me for going to school.
She was the one that made me realize that it’s okay to cry and that it’s not a sign of weakness. There wasn’t a lot of talk around mental health growing up, so that was one of the few moments where I felt like being very sensitive and emotional wasn’t seen as a bad thing.
I’m very grateful for my partner. He supports me every single day. Mental illness stigma makes it hard to find people who will love and support you. He’s never made me feel like a burden. He makes me feel like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. I think that’s very rare.
