Self Sabotage
Have you ever been so close to success and out of fear you self-sabotage?
In 2012, I started my first entrepreneurial journey. I had an idea to self-publish papers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it and without thinking much, I started to connect the dots. I spoke to a friend, Ade. Ade agreed to help. He helped design the first edition for FREE and we used his printing house, he was gracious enough to subsidize the cost for me. I worked with him on the design as well as everything else from curating content to marketing. In a few weeks, I had 500 copies of my first magazine. It was time to sell.
I managed to sell near 400 copies in about three weeks singlehandedly. I did this by talking to everyone that cared to listen as well as those who didn’t care. I went ahead to self publish the second edition four months later. This time, I barely sold 100 copies.
Self-sabotage occurs when your logical, conscious mind (the side of you that says you need to eat healthily and save money) is at odds with your subconscious mind (the side of you that stress-eats chocolate and goes on online shopping binges). The latter is your anti-self — that critical inner voice that seems to hold you back and sabotage your efforts. — entreprenuer
Everyone at some point has experienced this. That silent disgust we feel when we look into a mirror or check our bank balance. We want to be better but every time we try to, we somehow end up doing things that betray our initial intent. Deep down we believe we can, but after failing so many times in a row, we create an internal defense mechanism to help us live with our defeats.
Why push to be better when I can accept myself the way I am? We create this mental barricade — a stronghold that is designed to prevent our being from feeling hurt.
This is really your subconscious trying to protect you, prevent pain and deal with deep-seated fear. But the result of self-sabotage is that we hesitate instead of seizing new challenges. We forgo our dreams and goals. In the end, we know we missed out, but we don’t understand why. — entreprenur
The interesting thing is, self-sabotaging is your subconscious looking out for you, the only sad thing is if you consistently listen to you, you might end up feeling very miserable.
Here’s how I try to fight mine. It might work for you.
- I listen to my words. Sounds cliche right? From experience, I have found a pattern, I end up becoming what I had said in my past. This is beyond motivational speaking, it is consistently affirming the reality I want for myself.
- I watch my habits. The brain is great at picking patterns and when it does find a pattern, the basal ganglia kicks in when that pattern reoccurs. This is cool as it allows the brain to conserve energy or multitask better. This explains why everything is hard the first time and then it becomes natural. The downside is, the brain by default will produce the same results if exposed to the same actions. To break off self-sabotaging habits is to consistently override previously sour responses by replacing them with better alternatives. A little bit daily is far better than a giant leap.
- Define what success is to me. I have a clear picture of what success is to me. I have spelled it out. I know exactly where I want to be and in some way how to get there. In defining what success is to you, you must learn to tie the actions to you. If you need to go to a university and can’t afford it. Setting a plan that someone will give you the finance isn’t so smart. A better plan will be to get a job and save everything you can, lean your expense if you have to. That is dependent on you. That’s how you win.
Everyone deserves to be happy. I strongly think the goal is who we become over where we get to. To push through the mental barriers is real work, but that’s the only way I know possible. If it still seems hard, take a snapshot of how far you’ve come. Use that to push you.
