On Autosexuality
Is it okay to be sexually attracted to yourself?
Autosexuality, or sexual attraction to oneself, was until recently an obscure, deeply closeted phenomenon, the sort of topic you could go your whole life without hearing about, the sort that festers only in the dankest nether regions of r/sexuality, r/pederasty, or other online forums. Yet as of this writing, autosexuality is suddenly in vogue — decidedly so. Consider, as exhibit A, the recent Twitter debacle that saw conservative congressional candidate Angela King taking shots at Lil Nas X (and #BlackCulture more broadly) over a festive promo image which depicts the rapper making out with a double/clone of himself.
Lil Nas X wasted no time on the clap-back, and King is now getting walloped by what she likes to call the FAKE NEWS MEDIA — and rightly so. But the spat between King and Nas X is not what interests us here. The real question is whether we, King’s fellow citizens, should share any of her concerns about the blossoming of autosexuality within popular culture.
In order to broach this question, we must first define exactly what we mean by autosexuality — as we shall see, the term is not without controversy. Dictionary.com defines it as “sexual attraction to oneself, especially a preference for masturbation over sexual intercourse.” But this latter clause seems to make an unfair assumption. Is it true that an autosexual prefers masturbation to sexual intercourse? Or is it simply that autosexuals, being unable to truly copulate with themselves, tend to settle on masturbation as an acceptable substitute?
Where this substitution proves necessary, mirrors come well in handy. Mirrors allow the asexual to double themself, thus transforming an otherwise lonely onanistic ritual into something much more fulfilling: mutual masturbation. This doubling is made all the more pleasurable by the fact that the two doubles must de facto achieve climax in perfect sync — a boon to any autosexual who also happens to be an autoromantic (i.e. a self-lover in the fullest sense).
Autosexuality is closely related to autoromance, but the two are not identical. Obviously, you can fuck yourself without even liking yourself, while conversely there are bound to be a few autoromantic asexuals somewhere out there, strolling around with their “loved one,” hands cutely stuffed in their own pant pockets. Autoromance, in turn, must not be confused with the pathology we Americans now know so intimately after four weary years under a Narcissist in Chief. Harboring sexual or romantic feelings toward yourself is not the same as thinking you are God’s gift to Earth, infallible and incapable of losing.
Let us define autosexuality as the subjective state of being sexually attracted to one’s own body and/or likeness. Autosexuality then rests on a baseline distance, or dualism: “I” (the autosexual) am sexually attracted to “you” (myself) insofar as I recognize a distance between “you” (myself) and I.
If this definition seems more confusing than that of dictionary.com, trust that it is also more illuminating. It shines light on autosexuality as a philosophical quandary — perhaps among the weightiest of our era. The question at the heart of autosexuality is the same question Xavier Omär poses in the intro to Mick Jenkins’ song Angles:
Look in the mirror, do I want you?
I don’t know, do you know?
Come on mister, don’t lie
What do you feel when you look into your own eyes?
This question, addressed to the prospective autosexual, goes deeper than it may appear to. Xavier isn’t asking whether you feel horny or not. He’s asking whether you feel like you’re you or not. If you do feel like you’re you, then you probably won’t be autosexual. Being sexually attracted to yourself as yourself just isn’t possible, because let’s face it: you suck.
If, however, you look in the mirror and find yourself unable to identify with the face staring back at you, you may well be an autosexual, or at the very least capable of autosexuality — hardly bad news given the current state of the dating market.
I hope this article has been helpful to you. If you have any friends or family members you worry may be struggling with autosexuality, please forward it to them using the “share friend link” option enclosed within the top-right ellipsis icon (so as to skirt that nettlesome paywall).
