Physical Eros / Profound Intimacy
( I would ask that you consider the title of this note as a fraction. The first phrase is the numerator… the second the denominator. The numerator represents those parts of the denominator that are expressed by the fraction.)
In terms of physical eros (and love) many moderns, particularly young people (but all age groups) are quite confused. They quickly involve themselves in physical eros almost immediately, without allowing other faculties and potentials time to develop.
Much of what is lost in this way is both rare and precious, and will never even be hinted at in our lives if we do not give them time and space (in relation) to awaken and begin to develop.
Consider a couple who are madly in love with each other, but can never be physically together for some reason. They communicate all the time. They relate deeply with each other and form an astonishing »array of bonds. Maybe they can actually be physically together, but never touch each other or even hold hands. Say this goes on for a year or more…
In this perspective we find a relational analogy of the benefits of fasting (together). If we are always eating, we cannot understand the profound experience of an abiding fast. In some aspects of Tantra, the benefits of sustained resistance to the experience of orgasm during sex are well understood and celebrated.
There are examples in history of this. Rumi and Shams are one example. I know from direct experience that there are astonishing forms of being human and loving that are almost immediately sacrificed if … instead of allowing them time and space to develop … we choose the path of least resistance. In fact, resistance over time… develops new potentials of awareness, depth and … perhaps divinity.
The people of today (I include myself) are too used to eating the meal before it has even been prepared. They think because they have seen a seed that they know what an ancient jungle is.
This, too, is natural… but it is unfortunate.
Many aspects of our humanity are like this: we contain the potentials for forms of intimacy and intelligence that are hinted at in ancient stories and myths, legends and fantasies… but very rarely directly encountered or experienced in our modern experience or participation.
There are myriad forms of love and mutual adoration that only blossom if the immediate enaction of physical intimacy is resisted…
Chastity is a virtue we too poorly understand… and are inclined to discard due to biases that are prevalent in our modern cultures and situations. Yet such virtues bear magical fruit when deeply embodied and preserved.
Respect for old virtues is not the result of ‘giving in to religion’, but rather the awareness that the fruits of immediate gratification are (most often) comparatively shallow — where they are not overtly toxic.
