Life & Gifts
Gifts We Are Given to Discover
My life was one shock after another as somebody tried to awaken me to know gifts hidden in reality.
Read the story on my website / Reading time 5 min.
Inspired by a story from The Gift of Sensitivity book.
It is not so rare for people to create worlds and escape into their beautiful dreams full of miracles.
The reality, however, is often different.
Mine was a disaster.
I escaped to a world of books full of dreams and miracles. The truth is, I was living in the unfolding tragedy and drama.
I barely remember my childhood. Memory was gently wiped away as if with a rubber eraser: a few episodes, several messages, and an abyss of darkness.
The air of my real home was thick with tragedy, and life took place in dark violet hues, riddled with the pink scars of freshly healed newly obtained wounds.
I was emotionally and physically weak, vulnerable, and so sensitive that people said, “There is no skin.”
The words of others seeped into me, into my blood, and there was no protective barrier to prevent this.
I believed that the opinions of others were the only truth that hurt me so much.
It seemed that I was not the one who wanted to be born, clutching at my small, safe world of the pregnant belly, where I was threatened by the outside world.
The real world seemed so evil and harsh that we didn’t fit together in any way, and there was no need to enter it.
I was one of those kids with the pre-planned role of becoming the glue in the disintegrating marriage.
The drama of family betrayal was slowly unfolding, until my mother finally left us when I was six, pregnant with a third child that my father claimed could not possibly be his on the basis that there had been an absence of physical contact between them.
My older sister was gravely different to me, including in her outward appearance, which was very provocative to the relatives on our father’s side.
However, we were in the same boat because my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and we only really had each other.
I remember my horror at the first epileptic seizure, which I saw at age five, and even more a year later.
Father’s situation, condemned to live with a brain tumor and abandoned with two daughters, was not easy.
Everyone talks about the plight of women and the wounded femininity of our times. This particular story is about a man who a woman used.
The wound of a man, especially an intelligent and sensitive man, remains hidden so no one sees it. It is so deep that we will be processing this layer for centuries ahead.
The world around me seemed harsh because it was full of people and situations that I could neither accept nor change.
Life also prevented me from helping the only person dear to me — my father.
I waited all my life to kindle a connection with him, but the father was of Nordic blood, and the drama of his life froze his heart to the point where it was as cold and hard as an iceberg.
When someone close to us suffers, our own condition does not matter much.
While surviving my childhood, I was developing sensitivity to the point where I knew in advance whether my father’s blood pressure would change that day, or if there were any changes in his nighttime breathing, which I could feel through a couple of walls.
Most prominent in my mind was the notion that he would need my help, that I would be unable to oblige, and that this would render me on my own.
However, it seems I had the resources to deal with that situation, as my inner strength had awoken in a strange instance, earlier in my life.
I had been hit by a car, severely, and the driver had fled the scene.
I remember the car moving, running within millimeters of it, crossing the street.
It collided with my left hip, I ricocheted off the chassis, and fell to the side of the road after arcing through the air.
“So, this is it, and I die?” was the thought in my head when I hit the asphalt.
My last memory before losing consciousness was the smell of green grass on the soil, and I switched off to reality. I didn’t see any white tunnels of light, and no angels came to me with a message.
Once I opened my eyes, two people were present, trying to help me.
I remember the following scenes as though they were excerpts from a film: the deepness of my left leg wound, the taste of blood on my lips, the feminine voice saying “take out our bus” to her husband, the smell of iodine, and the roughness of freshly applied bandages.
I understood that the bus that belonged to this pair was too close to the pedestrian crossing, and was covering the road’s view to pedestrians, which was what had caused my incident.
They had used medicine on my leg, but everything else had been untouched, as if nothing had really happened.
I sat down, then stood, then told those people, “I am okay,” and walked away from the place. I was less than seven years old.
I believe that was a moment when my spirit entered into my life, initiating my strength.
I can’t even imagine letting a child of such a tender age go home alone after such a shocking episode.
Could you?
Nevertheless, I had the power to convince adults.
Whatever comes to your life, dear, remember that you will never be forced into a situation if you lack the strength to deal with it. You definitely have it, and these are gifts we are given to discover.
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Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
- The Gift of Sensitivity Book saves your precious time summarising 8 years of research & personal journey. Take a copy to discover your own sensitivity, transforming it into a superpower for a future with extraordinary faculties such as creativity, originality, innovation, intuition, flexibility, and inclusiveness in times of technological acceleration.
- Your Emotional Capital Newsletter informs you with a mosaic of perspectives and insights on how emotional depth can fuel transformation, expedite learning, and activate greater cognitive capacities. Here, vulnerability meets strength, and sensitivity is recast not as a liability but as a potent asset.
- Notes of Sensitive Resurgent Practical Guide encourages sharing your story and/or questions. It is a practical “how-to” guide that aims to help you understand and experience what’s possible when we tap into our innate abilities. Let’s grow together!
