PERSONAL GROWTH

3 Humane Ways How Owning Your Flaws Boosts Self-Trust

Shift your mindset from a complainer to a problem-solver.

Photo by Külli Kittus on Unsplash

You know why some people never make it big in life? Because they think they already know everything and blame the universe for conspiring against them. I’ve been in that phase of life.

There is a category for such kinds of people: complainers. I’ve had this habit of being a whiner since a teenager when life didn’t run my way. But then my early-20s started, and my problem started to outrun me.

Although now I’m much better at managing my responsibilities than I was with my complainer alter-ego, it took courage to accept my flaws of both kinds:

  1. The ones I can fix, and I’m working on them, e.g., writing quality.
  2. The ones where uncontrollable external factors play, e.g. my writing success, whose definition keeps evolving.

Owning your flaws is honesty in action.

I re-visited the trait of unabashed honesty from kids in our society.

Kids don’t give a damn about judgments. They’re all about having fun while being in the moment and creating memories.

While shuffling between my kid-friends ( they aren’t my kids ) and — more frequently — the friends of my age, I found out how we hide our insecurities instead of facing them head-on.

Once I looked at my mirror to accept myself for what I am, many flaws started to show the beauty. Here’s how they can do the same for you.

#1. Your flaws make you whole.

Learning to accept your imperfections is a rare superpower.

The simplest way to see imperfections as a feature is in baldness.

You’ll broadly see two kinds of people:

  1. The ones who cry about their hair loss while draining your motivation in the trash chute.
  2. The ones who’ve made bald as a fashion statement and you flourish with a smile whenever you see them because they’re not fighting their reality.

Learning to accept your imperfections distinguishes you from the rest of the community.

You’ll become a source of positivity for people who don’t even relate to you.

#2. Your flaws accelerate your personal growth.

Recently I published two articles about humour as a timeless life hack and using values to flip adversities in your favour.

Both articles have one element in common: laughter as a moral value. It means:

We can improve in an endeavour only if we accept we suck at it.

Seeing yourself from an objective POV means you’re okay to laugh at your fiasco because it gives you hope that you have so much to learn and progress.

I laugh at myself whenever I’m unable to reach my fitness goals. I laugh when I couldn’t get into a Medium publication because my article wasn’t a fit.

Entertain your flaws to get transparent about your growth. Clarity gives direction, and as Darren Hardy said:

“Direction is more important than speed.”

#3. Your flaws will make you a relatable human.

For perfection, go to IG fake-influencers. There are a few accounts on IG that show you the behind-the-scenes of building a success story.

Even I don’t show all my life in transparency online because I have certain boundaries for privacy. But I don’t also boast about my achievements all day to fake a perfect life.

Sharing your flaws when it makes the second person relate to you is a relationship elixir that works long-term. Sharing makes us feel we’re not alone. It makes us feel like a part of a shared sense of purpose more significant than ourselves.

When you’re more open about your experiences with someone going through a similar emotional inferno that you overcame in the past, the most humane behaviour you can show is to be empathetic with them by sounding compassionate and coming off as less judgmental.

It has made me so many friends that the energy is always lit even if I reach out to my long-term homies after months or years.

Final words

I thought my weakness was the failure to decide between when to be serious or funny.

You know what, this question might be in your head too if you’re super-cheerful, who often gets into trouble for laughing or joking for no reason.

But once I’ve accepted that humans aren’t mind-readers, even in the closest sense that we claim to be, I’ve embraced this flaw and roll with my sense of humour based on the tribe I’m donning with.

Owning your flaws is a courageous attitude. In the age of social media portrayal of what a perfect life should look like, you won’t find many people showing what they suck at because the “j” of judgment rears its head.

But if you are open to failing in public, it is the most daring method you’ll find to boost your confidence in the following three ways:

  1. Your flaws make you whole.
  2. Your flaws accelerate your personal growth.
  3. Your flaws make you a relatable human.

If you want to receive more stories like this, you might like my lifelong learning newsletter.

Sanjeev is a writer, mentor and recovering shopaholic from India. He writes about lifelong learning, personal growth, and positive psychology. When he’s not busy with his muse, he’s sweating either in a workout or emulating outdoor games in his home because of the pandemic. He also chronicles his writing and fitness journey on Instagram. He shares daily inspiration with #ThoughtForTheDay on Twitter.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sanjeev Yadav

Sanjeev Yadav

Writer • Mentor • Recovering Shopaholic • IITR 2019 • ✍🏼 Personal Growth, Positive Psychology & Lifelong Learning• IG: sanjeevai • List: sanjeevai.ck.page