A Warning from My Near-Death Experience

I’m overcome, so I’m just going to tell my story. Naysayers, belittlers, condemners, mockers be damned.

About three months ago, I was in my home, stupidly walking as I ate. I was passing through the bathroom from the kitchen into the bedroom when I slipped and tried to catch myself. As I was falling, I inhaled the food whole, without chewing, and it became lodged in my windpipe. I have a vague memory of my head glancing the bathroom sink as I fell.

Afterward, my family and I analyzed the timing and decided that I must have lain there…