Balancing is a Verb, a Process in Life — Not a Result

“Nature knows no right or wrong, only Balance and Imbalance.” Gregge Tiffen

Balancing is different for everyone ** Photo: Farakos, Unsplash

Right/wrong are social and religious ethics. Balance/imbalance are aesthetics and spiritual and vary in every individual. In my almost 90 years of life, balancing has been most significant in every aspect of life.

Balancing sameness and uniqueness

Most people think of balancing quantities (esp. money). I think of balancing qualities. An important one for me is sameness vs. uniqueness. So many of the masses play follow the leader, political, celebrity, educational, etc., with a massive following of sameness in consumerism. This is an extreme balancing act, and I rarely follow another, as I am more devoted to uniqueness. However, sometimes sameness has benefits, as I found in my design and manufacturing business. I created a foundation of “templates” in pattern engineering for fashion clothing manufacturing. These templates were established after checking them as great for cutters, stitchers, etc. as well as great for all customers with their ability to also allow wonderful high fashion creativity and uniqueness at affordable prices. It was this foundation of sameness that made my high fashion unique, and affordable.

Unfortunately, most clothing manufacturers use sameness to an extreme in every step of making, styling and selling — because it was their way of lowering costs and increasing profits. This is why most low-cost clothing has become so boring.

Then there is the imbalance at the other extreme, uniqueness and creativity for its own sake, as seen in high fashion couturiers — clothing that takes 800 hours to make each one, too expensive, and with blaring creative sensationalism for marketing. Also extreme is the way fashion students are taught to only express themselves, and not pay attention to consumers' desires, or the production ability to make clothing affordable. The results are garments no one wants to wear, or only for extreme theater.

The world needs to consider balancing extremes. Mother Nature is an example to follow. There is some uniqueness in every tiny snowflake, and every rose, but also sameness. Look at trees with a foundation of sameness in tree trunks, but uniqueness in their colorful leaves and each piece of fruit.

Opposites need balancing

My lifetime this time around has been devoted to learning and understanding many perspectives — even opposing ones that I disagree with. It helps me to understand all minds, even their biases, to see how their beliefs and perspectives develop — and to balance them in my own mind. I have given up most newspapers and online news because most journalists write in sensational extremes. It is very rare to read of balancing.

Helen Mirren, New York Times, 4.17.22

Harry J. Stead, talks about the balance of two opposites — two sides of the same coin — “For the Taoist life is an act of balancing the two opposites in harmony.” I love considering balancing as harmonizing!

Tim Denning says,”The balance between uncertainty and certainty is what keeps life interesting and everybody has a different balance.”

Lanu Pitan, 9.9.22,” Getting Your Balance Right Is Never by Accident You have to work on it, and you have to desire it….”

Jodie Helm, 9.5.22. asks her Archangels: “How can we go about finding a better balance in life when we have so many bases to cover?” They answer, “The balance you seek and need began in the changes brought about by The Shift, but it will grow within you as you change your priorities and your way of thinking. Secondly, do something that makes you smile and laugh. If your life has not already offered you such an opportunity on a regular basis, you must make it happen purposefully, reaching for it. You cannot solve your problems if you do not address your feelings and needs on a regular basis.

Science vs. Spirituality

P.D. Ouspensky’s Tertium Organum, 1981, is a favorite because Ouspensky builds a bridge between science/technology and spirituality/philosophy. His subtitle is, “A key to the enigmas of the world.” He says in Chapter 21, “Science must come to mysticism, and then to the study of the forms of consciousness — and consequently of perception — other than ours. Science must throw off almost everything old and must start from a new theory of cognition, for mysticism offers a new approach”.

Masculine and Feminine Energies

Kimberly Fosu,11.10.22, “Masculine and feminine energies are present in every man and woman. It’s what makes you whole and complete…. When something causes the masculine and the feminine to go out of balance and they turn against each other, discord enters the space

Boston Globe, Lisa Sellin Davis, “Kids and Gender…Extreme voices on both sides are dominating the conversation … All this should spark classically liberal discussions and debates about medical ethics and about how to free kids from gender stereotypes — not a culture ward” I am both masculine and feminine, with the pendulum gently swaying back and forth. I have resolved the debate because I remember most past lives as a male, but love being a feminine woman in this lifetime.

Jodie Helm, 10.21.22, “We all have both masculine and feminine energies, and they have nothing to do with gender. They’re meant to be equally balanced, which leads to more productivity and success. However, in such a patriarchal-based society — and yes, we still are that in too many ways — it’s often hard to find that balance.

Mental Imbalance is Inner and Outer Discord

Julia Blum, 11.6.22, “Carl G. Jung argues that depression is a symptom of inner imbalances. The important difference here is that he doesn’t say chemical imbalances, but inner imbalances. Too much or not enough of something inside of you. Jung believed that symptoms are the voice of the soul. He proposed that the way to treat these imbalances and heal your patterns is to explore the subconscious. He suggested that by trying to hear what they’re expressing, you could develop a relationship with your inner forces.

Lanu Pitan, 11.8.22, “Success comes from the inside out. In order to change what is on the outside, you must first change what is on the inside.”

Kimberly Fosu, 11.9.22, Re: the spiritual awakening)I reached out to other people, but I wasn’t met with open arms. I shared too soon and almost felt crushed by the hurtful things people said to me…. Until then, shhh. Me: I reached out to my older brother, and was thrown into a mental institution. Years later I have forgiven him and love him, and feel very comfortable in my narrow range of those I talk to. I have a great cartoon from the Esalen Institute in California. It pictures a man in a strait jacket asking another hanging upside down from a tree, “Why do they call you mystic and me insane?” He answered, “I know whom not to talk to.

Dr Mehmet Yildz 11.10.22, “Emotional resilience, also known as psychological resilience in the literature, refers to the ability to rapidly cope with problems, especially crises, and bounce back to a normal state. Also: on 10.1.22, “create my own meaning to live my own life by balancing the activities of my lower and higher self.

RamaDhoana 3.21.22, quotes the Dalai Lama, “A mental affliction is anything that disturbs the balance of mind.”

Eric Guisinger, 2.17.22, writes: “Are You Emotionally Unbalanced? If our lives were emotionally balanced all the time, our lives might be boring.“ This is another argument for balance not being a central point, but a gently swinging pendulum

Balance of Powers

Our country was founded on a “Balance of Powers” as described in the Constitution. I continue to believe this is the best, spiritual as well as a political way to be and to live. Not just in government, but in every aspect of life -n even when we have seen bad imbalances in a past presidency, and in the Supreme Court. Recently in the New York Times, Ezra Klein, talking about the future, says: “The Balanced Bench would create that path.”

I have quoted many of my writer friends from because they have become the most meaningful community in my life today — and I thank you all deeply for being here. The dates represent when I entered the quotes in my journals.



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Shirley Willett

Book: “Past, Present, Future: Fashion Memoir, 70 Years, Design, Engineering, Education, Manufacturing & Technology”