Buddhist and Stoic Lessons on Giving, Connecting, and Happiness (Even Beyond the Holidays)
The art of meaningful gifts
As a child, an idea I didn’t understand was that someone could enjoy giving as much as receiving. The reason we do, Buddhist and Stoic philosophy teach, is that it is the connection we forge through gifts that brings happiness — not the items themselves.
Many of us learn this lesson through disillusionment. When I was 8 years old, I wanted a radio-controlled car. My fantasy was to race it behind our house in a dirt field with friends. Initially, I was overjoyed unwrapping the toy, but after an hour I was bored.
The reason? What I really wanted was recognition for winning races. Instead, I now had the task of building a track in the dirt and the logistical problems of coordinating friends to race their cars.
In academic jargon, I had fallen prey to affective forecasting bias.
When we imagine what we want in the future, we are usually pretty good at identifying what might clash. Most of us know that tuna flavored frozen yogurt isn’t going to be good without trying it.
Where we go wrong is in thinking about the context. We leave out all of the details that will be needed, such as all the work that would be required to build…
