How A Cat On Your Lap Can Sabotage Your Day
As we know, cats choose us. Having been chosen, it becomes difficult to ignore this precious gift.
Yet, there are many things we need to do as the day progresses: prepare a meal, use the bathroom, write for Illumination, that cannot be done while pinioned to the couch by a sleeping cat.
Of course, by their purring immobility, our cats provide us with many a needed excuse. “Sorry I couldn’t get to your baby gender reveal shower, but the cat…” “I really did mean to pay my bills, but the cat…”
Ditto: the laundry, the dentist appointment, the colonoscopy…well, you get the point!
This problem with cats and time wasting becomes even worse when one is retired. Once, when you were employed, even if you had a dozen cats curled on your lap , you would have managed to get up and go to work, at least most of the time.
However, a retired person like me must struggle hard every single day against the somnolent tyranny of her cats.
As a result, although I vow every morning not to spend so much time sitting on the couch with my cats, I find many mornings pass by much too swiftly, to the accompaniment of feline purrs and gentle snores (yes, both my cats snore although they vehemently deny it).
It seems the only things I can manage to do in my seated position is check my email and Facebook accounts obsessively. Skim news headlines (horrors!) And watch reruns of Columbo.
Of course, I also do a lot of “composing in my head”. Life-changing essays, epic poems, and award-winning screenplays… I know I can get them down on paper, once I gather the courage to push these damn cats off my lap.
There is a very funny cartoon I saw once in the New Yorker that showed a skeleton lying prone on a coach with a contented cat stretched on his lap. I understand and fear this all too well. But I guess there are worse ways to go!