I Believed Water was Holy and Became a Guttersnipe Kid

I still believe water is Holy but I no longer drink from the gutter

A water devotee from the kitchen sink to the gutter/personal photo of self

“Jonathan, get your sister out of the gutter right now!”

I was fully engrossed playing a hopscotch game of one on the sidewalk. Slinging the longest chain I had ever used and hoping all of it landed in the designated square.

Until I heard the clarion call issuing forth. The scorching desert heat guaranteed sprinklers spritzing and rain birding in every yard and the gutter began gushing with runoff.

Game forgotten, I stared transfixed by the liquid bounty and crouched down on my knees to begin ablutions. Gum and candy wrappers floated by amidst ciggie butts men had squished underfoot at the bus stop. I batted them away, not the least deterred and began my usual chant.

“Oh Holy water, bless your daughter.” Cupping small palms, I brought a handful of water to my lips after offering it to the sun and gulped it down heartily.

Now in full fervor, I cupped again and poured the contents over my head in self baptism. Another drink had fully transported me into water world when my brother came running.

“Mom said if you don’t get out of the gutter she’s going to whip your butt! She wants to talk to…