Love in All the Wrong Places
Finding love instead of disappointment
We’re told we’re looking for love in all the wrong places. It certainly feels that way when the love we’ve found has been so much less than what we needed. A lifetime of disappointment and disappointing partners adds up. But what if the problem isn’t that we’re searching in the wrong places but that we’re searching at all?
I’ve been single for a while now — long enough for the last attachment to release, long enough to stop looking for the next one. It’s almost an in-between feeling except I don’t feel like I’m waiting. There’s no sense of holding onto someone who’s gone, no grasping for someone yet to come. There is only this peaceful place I’ve found where neither is necessary for happiness to exist.
Like nearly every romance, when I stopped looking for love, I found it. But I didn’t find it in another person. I didn’t find it in a new hobby or interest. I just found it.
It was here all along. In me. Waiting to be recognized. Waiting to be appreciated. Waiting, just like I’d been waiting the whole time for someone to see and appreciate me. It was there.
Suddenly, it didn’t feel so urgent to download another dating app. It didn’t seem necessary to scope out potential singles in my area. I stopped looking and suddenly felt like I…
