Making Love With a Burger
I order the largest burger on the menu. The person taking my order gives me a weird eyebrow flex with an eye squint. Did he too meet my mom?
I shrug. I’m adamant. I’m not changing my order son. I'm ready for the war you asked for. Ready to fight for my love.
To devour that burger in your face. There are people lined behind me, but now it’s match time. I give him my strongest poker face in history and drop a bomb. “Large fries too!”
He has that Joker smirk on. I have an equally strong rebuttal. I roll my eyes. Two times. Now that stops him from questioning my life decisions. This never worked with my mom though.
I find a quiet lonely and extremely isolated corner at the restaurant. I need a place where my burger will feel less judged and more loved. As I walk away, I can feel the eyes of millions glaring at my large burger.
Those eyes making my burger feel self-conscious. I take my one fry and toss at that small kid whose mouth dropped open looking at my large burger.
I looked around. All had their mouths open now. I ain’t no Mother Teresa guys. Go find some other victim to stare at. I ain’t no weakling.
I sit on that chair, I love how the impression of the butt of so many people has carved a perfect place to place my bottom.
It’s peaceful here, I’m alone with it. I love how it smells. Those fresh hot buns excite me to dive right in. But I know my priorities straight. Buns can wait. But first, the magical potion has to flow. Ketchup!
There is a mustard too. I hate that and also men with orange hair.
Now it’s showtime, all eyes on me. I’m the showstopper. Sorry wait, it’s the attention-seeking burger. I crave to take that one bite. That one bite, without the fear of spilling out any love juices. I don’t want any premature flows. I gently caress it. Firmly too. Gave my first love bite to it.
No human can replace that.
Something felt stuck inside me. I had to remove it out. The mighty onion slice.
This large burger was way out of my league, it was tough to impress and even tougher devour. Few love bites and I was satisfied, he wasn’t. I had to prove my love, there was no other way to win him back. I started from down nibbling the lower half, reaching the juicy center which had all the cheese and the creamiest dips. My mouth was smeared in its love juices all over. I wiped it all before anyone could pass judgments on my love. That final bite could decide my fate of today’s love contest. Would I get the final pleasure or would I need those side fries to give me the needed pleasure?
I ate the last bite of my large burger and oh lord. How can I describe the satisfaction? It had gone inside me, without any hesitation and all that is left is pure bliss. I look around, that child is still watching me. I hope this lovemaking doesn’t scar him for life. I get up and do the most unexpected thing. Give my fries to him.
No extra pleasure needed. No cheating the large burger today. I walk out of the restaurant winking at the server, the cupid I never asked for.
