Parenting, Disability

My Autistic Son Wore The Same Clothes For Two Years

When we moved across the country, my kid decided one outfit was all he needed

Toni Tails
Jan 1, 2020 · 5 min read
Photo by Ulkar - license purchased by the author

My son, Sky, and I moved from California to Georgia. Dressing up as his favorite video game character helped relieve Sky’s anxiety while adjusting to his new environment. Two years passed before Sky would wear anything else.

Preparing for Change

Sky had Autism Spectrum Disorder. Structure and familiarity helped him navigate a neurotypical world. Significant changes were especially tricky for Sky to process.

To help Sky prepare for two thousand miles of change, I told him he could select a treat for his new home. Sky asked if I would buy him special clothes for Georgia. He wanted the costume his favorite video game character, Link, wore in Zelda; Ocarina of Time.

Sky and I had been playing Zelda; Ocarina of Time together since he was four-years-old. I thought the costume was an excellent idea and the perfect gift for my brave adventurer!

Sky trying on homemade Zelda inspired costume - photo by the author

I found soft brown pants, an oversized hunter green tee-shirt, and a belt online. I also crafted Sky a hat. I mailed the Link costume to our new address. It would arrive soon after we did.

New Home, New Rules

Being in an unfamiliar place gave rise to a lot of challenges for Sky. He was used to being an only child. We’d moved in with my sister and her two kids, so suddenly, Sky was one of three.

Sky was pleased to be with his aunt and cousins. Nonetheless, he missed his California friends and was confused by new rules in a new household.

Sky began to lock up inside himself. Instead of his typical outgoing and bubbly personality, Sky was quiet and standoffish.

I went online and ordered ten large hunter green tees. I also bought several pairs of brown pants.

About a week and a half after Sky and I moved to Georgia, Sky’s Link ensemble arrived. As soon as Sky put on the costume, he was his happy, bubbly self again.

Mom’s Big Idea

The next day, Sky wore his Link outfit again. I didn’t mind it, since it made him happy. Sky attempted to wear the costume on the third day, also, but it needed washing. He begrudgingly put on other clothing and promptly shut back down.

I had an idea. I went online and ordered ten large hunter green tee-shirts. I also bought several pairs of brown pants. Boots were harder to find, but I finally found some small women’s boots that would be practical for daily wear.

Sky was delighted with his new wardrobe.

Link Sky's everyday looks! Photo by the author

My Name is Link Sky

At first, I wondered if I’d made the right decision. Sky seemed obsessed with being Link in an almost unhealthy way when he was feeling high anxiety.

He began to insist that I couldn’t call him Sky.

“I’m not Sky, Mum. I’m Link Sky!”

It concerned me a little, but I decided to go with it. After all, Link Sky’s personality was precisely like Sky’s, only with less anxiety. I reached out to my little guy with both arms.

“Okay, Buddy. I hope Link Sky gives hugs!”

“Link Sky gives a MILLION hugs, Mum!”

A New Superhero in Town

At first, Sky required every element of the Link Sky costume. After some months passed, he only wore the hat on occasion. Months later, Sky became okay with tennis shoes. Eventually, Sky was fine with jeans or shorts.

Every item that Link Sky stopped wearing daily went into a backpack. Sky kept the backpack with him at all times in case he needed to change. The last piece of the Link Sky outfit to go into the backpack was the hunter green shirt.

For several months, we couldn’t go anywhere without that backpack.

Sky packed the tee away and told me he needed to “go incognito” during his everyday life. Link Sky had evolved into an alter-ego — a superhero.

“I will keep Link Sky clothes in my bag just in case any bad guys show up, and I need to kick their butt!”

For several months, we couldn’t go anywhere without that backpack. I even had a backup bag with a second Link Sky costume stowed away in the car in case we forgot the original.

Farewell Link Sky

One day, Sky brought the backpack to me and asked me to find a safe place for it.

“I still want to keep this in case I feel like dressing up as Link, but I don’t need it anymore.”

I watched my son walk outside, in a red tee-shirt and blue shorts. I packed away his costume and couldn’t help but get a little teary-eyed. I was going to miss Link Sky.

I heard the bubbling laughter of children and peeked outside. I watched my son tumble around on our trampoline with his cousins, rosy-cheeked and happy.

I wiped my eyes and smiled.

“Welcome back, Sky.”

Sky begins a new obsession - photo by the author

A Note from the Author

Every story I share about Sky is done with his permission. I share these stories in the hope that we can bring awareness about the everyday life of a kid on the Autism Spectrum and the people he loves. Sky is 100% on board for that.

I double-check with Sky about specific stories, but I’m generally met with a deadpan response and blank stare.

“I already said you can write about me. You don’t have to keep asking. I trust your judgement.”

I still ask him, anyway.

He’s sixteen now, so eyes will roll.

P.S. Sky still loves Zelda.

Glossary

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Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD); a neurological and developmental disorder that begins early in childhood and lasts throughout a person’s life. It affects how a person acts and interacts with others, communicates, and learns. It includes what used to be known as Asperger syndrome and pervasive developmental disorders - MedlinePlus

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Neurotypical (NT) means having a style of neurocognitive functioning that falls within the dominant societal standards of “normal.”

Neurotypical can be used as either an adjective (“He’s neurotypical”) or a noun (“He’s a neurotypical”).- Neurocosmopolitanism

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Neurodivergent (ND): having a brain that functions in ways that diverge significantly from the dominant societal standards of “normal.” -Neurocosmopolitanism

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Toni Tails

Written by

CEO of ToniTails.com | Published Author & Illustrator| Body Positive Graphic Artist | Autism Mama | Survivor of Child Sex Abuse | PTSD ADHD Queer Babe | she/her

ILLUMINATION-Curated

Outstanding stories objectively and diligently selected by 40+ senior editors on ILLUMINATION

Toni Tails

Written by

CEO of ToniTails.com | Published Author & Illustrator| Body Positive Graphic Artist | Autism Mama | Survivor of Child Sex Abuse | PTSD ADHD Queer Babe | she/her

ILLUMINATION-Curated

Outstanding stories objectively and diligently selected by 40+ senior editors on ILLUMINATION

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