My Dead Simple Life Strategy to Not Give A F*ck
Without thinking too much about it
I recently visited the optometrist to have a pair of prescription glasses made.
When I received my new glasses and tried them on, I felt disoriented, so I asked the optometrist to reevaluate the glasses to ensure they were made with the correct prescription.
He patiently explained that it typically takes at least three days to adjust to a new prescription, and encouraged me to return if the glasses still didn’t feel right after that period.
Three days later, I returned, and he made the necessary changes.
I can finally see clearly again.
Life is a lot simpler than many of us make it out to be.
From birth, we’ve been indoctrinated with the rules and social conventions of our immediate environment, to view life through a certain lens.
For some of us, the lenses that we grew up with seem to provide 20/20 vision for perceiving the world around us. Everything seems to make sense, and we were never much of a challenger because there wasn’t a need to be.
For another group of us, the lenses that we grew up with are hazy. Our perception of the world is blurry, and it just doesn’t seem to reflect the reality that we experience.
If you fall into the latter camp, ask yourself this: “Am I giving too many f*cks about the faulty prescription?”
Maybe it's time to change your lenses so that you can see clearly again.
1. Ditch the old & broken pair
Some aspects of life are fixed and cannot be altered, such as one’s family, genetic makeup, past experiences, aging, and how other people behave. On the other hand, there are things that we consider unchangeable, even though they actually can be changed.
The three major decisions in life that can objectively be changed are:
- Where you live
- Who you’re with
- What you do for a living
Given that these are major decisions, it’s easy to tend towards the default mode and subconsciously limit yourself. Snap out of it.
You need to recognize the fact that our perceptions and decision-making abilities are prone to biases that helped us survive during our evolutionary past. The key is to become aware of those biases and make decisions based on sound reasoning rather than instinctual responses.
These primal instincts can be so strong that they often override our desire to challenge societal norms or constructs. It’s understandable—going against the grain can feel unsettling and counterintuitive, but it’s important to realize that sometimes, this is exactly what needs to happen.
We each see clearly through different lenses, and your default prescription may not be the right one for you.
If so, ditch the old and broken pair.
A faulty prescription leads to headaches, eyestrain, fatigue, and the worsening of vision. The journey of life can be much smoother without the dead weight of friction.
Stop giving a f*ck about the others whom you’ve changed out along with your lenses.
2. Measure your new prescription against reality
While it may be tempting to ditch the old and broken pair every single time we encounter friction, reality will always reflect the truth.
Facts do not care about our feelings nor anyone’s feelings.
It’s important to recognize that friction isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, in some cases, it can be necessary to produce positive outcomes.
The key is to distinguish between necessary friction and friction that is negative and unproductive.
Assess your own life and consider the following:
- Are you wealthy?
- Are you healthy?
- Are you happy?
If you lie to yourself long enough, time will force you to confess.
Just like the father who cheated on his family, the mother who left home, or the preacher who went behind bars.
Be truthful with yourself without allowing time to be your motivator, for it can never be recovered.
Expose yourself to change before time exposes you to reality.
3. Assess your renewed trajectory
Consider the lives of the people closest to you: your parents, your friends, your colleagues, your roommates, and your neighbours.
- Do their lives inspire you?
- Do you want to become more like them?
- Are their definitions of happiness aligned with yours?
You’ll start to look more like them with every single interaction and conversation.
If their lives are undesirable to you, maybe it’s time to go back to Step 1.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with“ — Jim Rohn
Thank you for reading this post.
Hi! I’m Darien — a proud husband and digital entrepreneur from Singapore.
One of the main themes you’ll find in my work is philosophy on health, wealth, relationships, and happiness.
I firmly believe that these four pillars of life are interconnected and that we cannot have one without the others. I also believe that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to achieving success in these areas. Instead, we need to find our own unique paths and embrace our individuality.
My goal is to challenge you to think critically about your own beliefs and values so that you can live a life that you truly love. If you’re ready to start living life on your own terms, then you’re at the right place.
