Parenting and Gender are Changing — All Children Need Love
Do you love all children, whether you have children or not? Do you believe loved children are the survival of the human race?
If there comes a time of a deep LACK of LOVE for all children, humanity will not survive. It is NOT reproduction to be forced or even pushed. Technology can take the place of every aspect, from sperm and egg banks, to invitro fertilization, to artificial fertilization, to artificial wombs (see MIT Tech Review). And we have seen that the more diversity in DNA, the healthier the children. Ponder the boy pharaoh Tutankhamun, who died at 19 from incest (sameness of DNA, from keeping pharaohs in the family. Or, in high breeding of dogs, which is unhealthy, with mongrels healthier. I certainly believe that technology (robots?) can NOT take the place of PARENTING, and LOVING. Not all people have to have kids, but all people must be parents to and love all children, for human survival.
I did not have kids — decided in high school, because I could not do the great parenting my mother did in raising us — with my great passion for a career in fashion design, engineering and manufacturing. And carrying forth my DNA was never important. However, I have always loved children, and did many things part-time: Babysitting 2 girls after school as a teen; Became a Big Sister; Teaching in the 1960s after college. I created classes, part-time, for teaching and mentoring. These students and proteges were like my children and I loved them. I was like a father to my workers, even the older ones, and loved them in 1960s and 1970s. After selling my business I went further in teaching and in engineering design grants, which prompted Hat Engineering Projects in the 1990s, for 150 7th graders and 40 3rd graders. Some money I got from grants was used to support the teachers in the projects. I loved these kids.
Some history in parenting:
After the industrial revolution, Fathers left farms and homes to work in industry.
Starting with WWII into 1980s, Mothers left homes to work for money, and careers.
By the 21st century, Extended families (Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles. cousins, older siblings, neighbors), all those that once helped with parenting, left to travel, and live at far distances.
In the news:
We are seeing the critical lack of parenting with love, and the pitiful results in so many children. We have all read articles that illustrate this. Here are some recent ones.
“Boys are struggling, Male kindergarten teachers want to help”. It has always been female teachers in kindergarten. I ask, “Where were the boys’ fathers to teach them how to be a man?” And mothers are not teaching their daughters, as they used to, how to be a woman. Instead, they are motivating them on how to make money. We need both genders in parenting.
“Bridging Worlds”, Boston Globe, by Cady Coleman, “I carved a career path not built for women and mothers: Air Force colonel, full-time astronaut, six months on the International Space Station. I also sometimes parented long distance — very long distance.“ I ask, “Why did she have children?” I did not have children because I could not do it as my mother did.
“Pardon the Interruption”, Kara Miller, Boston Globe, “Moms’ work gets interrupted more frequently by family issues than fathers. And their job prospects and earnings suffer for it.” We need expanded parenting groups in some new creative ways in the future, for loving all children, and allow everyone to combine parenting and work. Many that parent part-time could make great parenting. Hillary Clinton wrote a book, “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child”.
“Southwick bullying case underscores crucial role parents play, Parents need to teach that words and actions have impact on others.” Hundreds of stories are telling parents how to parent by old rules, and how to teach by MCAS tests. More important: Can we teach parents and teachers how to love? We should all be teachers and parents by sharing knowledge and skills, and love to children and adults, and not ask for money to solve all problems. Having been born extremely poor during the the 1930s Great Depression, I know that poverty does not prevent loving.
“Teens report less risky behavior… but a rising sadness and depression”, Christopher Huffaker, Boston Globe. We are seeing so much depression in teens, when love would help. Please, let’s learn to love everyone.
“Kids? A growing number say ‘no…” New York Times, Christina Caron. Almost 50% of young American women, will not, and care not to have children. Less population is OK, but not loving all the children that are born!! What will happen to the human race?
Some ideas (I have written before, but they need repeating):
In the 1980s, I designed “NEC, Neighborhood Entrepreneurial Center” with Deborah Straughter, a student in my pattern-making class at HHROC, and a single black mother with 3 daughters, who was concerned about teen-age pregnancy. We structured NEC and “Teen Esteem” to help single mothers coping with motherhood, earn an income and enjoy the fashion industry. Adriana Rodriguez, from Adolescent Parent Employability Program, joined us and we sent a proposal to the state welfare office. It was a great idea, 3 sections: 1) a small factory to make things, 2) a child-care center, 3) a small store to sell these things. All involved shared work, income and expenses. Sadly, social workers did not like what was not their idea, and we couldn’t get needed support. It was too ahead of time.
Recently, Yvonne Abraham, Boston Globe, wrote about, ““Nurtury Early Education… When you nurture a child, you nurture a community … They grow child-care providers…. high-quality, to give Greater Boston’s youngest children in need, birth to age five, the opportunity to reach their full potential by investing in school readiness, healthy development, and supporting families…. It creates entrepreneurs who can make good incomes — which moves their own families into middle class and sends money back into communities…. Nurtury envisions a world where, regardless of race, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status, all children have the opportunity to learn, discover, and develop the skills that empower healthy development and lifelong learning. Nurtury hopes to expand the incubator model, and persuade like-minded operators across the state to open up their own versions.” I say, “Look at all the love the children are getting! And, I wish I was younger , so I could help.”
Can you please design some ideas too, that can involve everyone in parenting, teaching and loving children. I have done a lot, but I am 91 now. I can still write to help, but I can no longer go out into the world to do anything anymore. Please?
