Emotions & life meaning
Path of Emotional Release: I failed and, therefore, feel bad!
This mindset has changed my perception of my world from a harsh place where I need to learn how to survive the best way to a place of love that gently helps me discover myself in my true power.
Inspired by The Gift of Sensitivity.
You’re probably familiar with the idea of striving to improve daily.
I found myself exploring a whole new realm of mental reasoning around mistakes.
Can I be frank? How do failures make you feel?
Do you feel it was a necessary mistake, a kind of push to be rewarded one day? These are thoughts, not feelings.
If I fail, I feel bad! Mental reasoning around mistakes necessary for learning doesn’t give me relief.
I decided I better take care of how I feel. How other people are going about that?
Myriad solutions will help you stop feeling bad, and many of them could make you feel better.
It could be achieving a desired goal, buying something new, meeting someone, or … going through an ongoing process of becoming an ideal self.
The truth is that, in this case, we turn a blind eye to the inner truth and grab an external solution for inner emotional discomfort and emptiness.
“Betterness” is just one of these solutions.
You are undoubtedly aware of this concept of being a better version of yourself every day.
The betterness concept is based on the idea of learning.
It is straightforward to understand if you imagine artisans making wooden toys. The first would be simple and heavily lined, yet everyday mastery will increase by practicing and repetition. In time, you would see the beauty of wooden lines being made so perfectly, as if the toy had been carved smoothly from butter with a heated knife.
Through honing his abilities, the craftsman strives to master his craft daily and considers making mistakes a necessary part of such a learning process.
This concept was reappropriated from mastering our abilities to mastering ourselves.
“I could even be good, but that’s not enough, and I need to get better day after day,” the message says.
Many people also will tell you that they don’t fail; they make mistakes in favor of learning.
What did I understand about betterness?
The basic idea that we aren’t good enough and must improve daily doesn’t resonate with me.
Although I am adept at formal learning with a collection of master’s degrees involved in my Ph.D. and value life learning highly, I doubt if this is the final target of life.
I believe this is life, the continuous process of evolution. Learning is a process of life itself.
My opinion is that during this learning, we don’t make mistakes.
We act based on the best we can do right here and now, with the energy level available to us.
The energy level includes skills, information, critical thinking, etc.
In other words, we are good enough for any given moment in our lives.
Life is constantly changing, and so are we.
Today’s situation is different from yesterday’s.
If we have an “emotional/psychological resource” and enough energy, we create new solutions and new experiences with the help of new opportunities.
Yesterday, we did the best we could with the energy we had, so the energy we had yesterday was appropriate for the situation we were faced with.
I’m sure we have done our best.
I consider betterness a game of “golden shadows,” in other words, perfectionism.
Why else does the world not get wiser by making so many mistakes? Because it is impossible to become perfect.
Let’s be honest about our feelings.
With failures, my emotional cocktail consists of different emotions at different times, but the overall feeling is a closed door.
Imagine you’ve been buying presents for a month and preparing to look chic when you have been invited to a wedding, hoping to meet a new friend.
The moment you arrived at the train station, you realized that you had missed a daily train and couldn’t be at the party tonight.
The subsequent emotions would reflect my case of failure.
The correct understanding is that my expectations failed. Not me, my expectations.
We only feel like a failure if our expectations do not resonate with our perceived reality, which is the only source of our satisfaction or suffering.
The core is “Perceived reality,” which we perceive as a failure if it doesn’t match expectations.
Imagine someone talking to you because you looked upset while drinking coffee at the train station.
You become friends with the possibility of more.
How would you feel?
I think you would feel great because it was the only right moment when you missed that train as you didn’t need a travel solution to meet a new friend!
The universe could have something else for you.
Nothing has changed in the past; the fact that you missed the train has remained the same.
Your perception has varied depending on the new information received; would you agree with that?
Hidden (not revealed yet) information can be a simple message: this is not your train or your door.
Now, imagine that you have been so organized and direct that the failure of a planned trip pushed you over the edge.
Overwhelmed with emotions, you might not even notice a stranger who says: “It seems you missed the train,” and might leave the station.
However, when we alter our emotional state, we may find another door of opportunity, which is very near and wide open.
If only our expectations fail and we never do, it seems we catch ourselves in a strange “learning process” of better managing our expectations. Why don’t we ultimately just set them aside?
We would never get a life message trying to overcome obstacles toward the expected outcome we have planned.
However, to catch opportunities, we only need to turn on the inner light button and see them; they are always available.
If we don’t, we will always have problems, need to fix something, or plan how to overcome a barrier.
Some people, however, seem to enjoy the process of fixing and even take it as a source of pride in themselves.
There is no right solution; it is only a decision whether you want to become your life’s creator or stay a manager of circumstances.
I used to like my ability to “get things done” and enjoyed the harmonization of chaos. However, I just grew out of it one day.
I did it so often that I got tired of playing a desired match: “Expectation equals perceived reality.”
Many worries say that if I don’t strive for the better, I will stop progressing, pull back, and get nowhere.
Being good enough doesn’t stop my progress because I choose the path of emotional release.
It gives me energy, and I am resourceful in that resource.
I am still alive and experiencing situations, but I care about my emotional freedom, which allows me to understand why I am given a situation.
I don’t care “why this happens to me.” It happens “for me,” be sure.
I also asked, “What gift will this situation bring me?”
This mindset has changed my perception of my world from a harsh place where I need to learn how to survive the best way to a place of love that gently helps me discover myself in my true power.
My main goal is to feel good before, during, or after any experience.
“Better” or “not the best” is a function of the mind’s decisions.
However, I’m not so interested in judging the mind. I want to feel good and be grateful.
Do you?
If yes, reveal what is hidden for you under layers of unnecessary emotions that keep limiting beliefs.
I use each experience to find my inner resonance and release the tethered emotions.
Neglect the message, and you will never be able to progress.
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- Your Emotional Capital Newsletter informs you with a mosaic of perspectives and insights on how emotional depth can fuel transformation, expedite learning, and activate greater cognitive capacities. Here, vulnerability meets strength, and sensitivity is recast not as a liability but as a potent asset.
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