So You Want to Know Why They Ghosted You
The chances that it had much to do with you are actually pretty slim.
I have a bit of a confession to make. I’m a chronic ghoster, and I’ve been this way my entire life. In fact, I’ve been ghosting people for so long, I was genuinely taken aback the first time I heard someone talk about it out loud using actual words.
My first reaction was to be surprised that enough other people did this for there to be a known term for it. My second was to feel like a horrible person because, while I now make an honest effort not to ghost unless it’s truly warranted, it’s unlikely I’ll ever stop doing it altogether. It’s too damned effective at putting a stop to connections you genuinely don’t want in your life anymore, and that — unfortunately — makes it addictive.
The bad news is I know I’m far from alone on that front, so if you’re one of the many people who really hate ghosting, your troubles aren’t going to be over anytime soon. The good news is ghosting often has a lot more to do with the ghost than it does the ghosted. Most of us ghosts are weird, damaged individuals with social graces that are stunted at best, so it probably wasn’t about you.
However, I do understand the burning desire to know why on earth anyone would purposefully ghost another person in the…
