The Agony of Disbelief
When truth-tellers are silenced and discredited
“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.” ~ Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence — From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
Lauren is exuberant over finally feeling palpable release from her abuser of ten years, a man she believed she would spend her life with. Nevertheless after a prolonged period of no contact and a meaningful trajectory of trauma informed treatment, permutations of anguish linger. The source of her distress is no longer about him, but about those who have bought into the narrative that her version of reality was distorted, extremist and untrue. She is plagued by having her victimization written off as a figment of her misguided imagination. Even worse, she is mortified that others view her instability as the basis for her assumed delusional interpretation of events, while the man who induced symptoms of trauma and dissociation is given a free pass.
This is a plight I frequently witness in those who seek me out for therapy in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.
