The Blessing of Boredom
When was the last time you felt bored?
What was that feeling like?
How did you notice yourself react to it?
Clients often tell me that they struggle with the experience of boredom, which is to say that their default is to keep busy or be entertained. Having nothing to do can be disorienting, especially when it entails sitting with oneself.
Our culture celebrates busyness as a sign of success and entertainers are the stars we’re taught to look up to. A bout of boredom, then, can feel like a personal failure in this paradigm that prioritizes productivity.
A dull moment, we’re told, is something to be avoided, and a multibillion dollar entertainment industry promises to keep boredom at bay.
Yet, have you ever felt sharper after indulging in entertainment? The more pernicious of which is social media. Can scrolling even be called entertainment? A more appropriate term might be diversion.
And clients routinely report using social media or binge watching shows to divert attention from sitting with themselves, an experience which many describe as deeply distressing.
How could simply being in one’s own company for a brief period of time induce such discomfort and anxiety?
It is as though being present with oneself feels so foreign that it is frightening. As though our own thoughts and feelings could be threatening. Simply being feels unsafe.
On an individual level, this could be understood as the impact of trauma. However, on a societal level, I think there are also assumptions and trends in our society that exacerbate the phenomenon: In this brave new world, there shall not be any dull moments. Boredom, after all, cannot be so readily monetized.
In exchange, we’ve become duller, less vibrant, less present, less attentive.
Not so long ago, the experience of boredom was the springboard for imagination and contemplation. It was not uncommon to stare out at the water and let one’s thoughts wander. Who remembers gazing up at the clouds as a child and finding therein worlds filled with interesting characters and storylines?
Thankfully, such experiences are still found on the periphery of our stressed-out busy consumer culture, which really stands out as an abnormality when compared with more traditional human societies1.
Thankfully, it is possible to step away from the noise and reacquaint ourselves with boredom. Being out in nature tends to help us adjust to a slower, more natural rhythm, and our faculties for awe and contemplation tend to grow sharper.
Intentionally creating for ourselves and our children moments of boredom can help us retain presence, awareness, and vibrancy. We can learn again to be humans being, not merely humans doing.
Small changes to our habits can make all the difference. Sometime my children like to play around in the car and pretend to drive it. Recently, one of them pushed all kinds of buttons and locked me out of the radio system. Realistically, it would not take much effort on my part to unlock and gain access to the entertainment features of the vehicle once more. However, because we could no longer put the music on in the morning, something beautiful happened. They started to sing. I much prefer it this way.
Boredom is fertile ground for creative expression and imagination. For the mind and spirit, boredom teaches us the meaning of the aphorism less is more.
Give yourself and your loved ones the gift of boredom.
