The Little Known Joys Of Being An Uncle Tom

The subtle art of calling black people names.

Steve QJ
ILLUMINATION-Curated

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

If animals ever figure out the collective names we’ve given them, we’re all in deep trouble.

Sure, there are some cool ones like a “pride” of lions and a “wisdom” of wombats, but there’s also a “bloat” of hippopotamuses, and a “smuck” of jellyfish and a “cowardice” of dogs!!

And nobody — with the possible exception of Hispanic people getting stuck with “Latinx” — understands this problem better than black people, because we have to deal with these stupid names too.

A “diversity hire” of black professionals. A “multiracial whiteness” of black conservatives. A “thug” of black men “not wearing a tie or handcuffs”.

Every time black people say something we’re not “supposed” to say or vote in a way we’re not “supposed” to vote, every time we test the boundaries dictated by our skin tone, one of these names comes along to put us back in our place.

Because if we get really uppity? Well, we all know what that name is.

Of course, with the sheer variety of ways to denigrate black people, it”s easy to end up feeling overwhelmed.

But luckily, there’s a name you can use whenever a black person says something you don’t like without…

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Steve QJ
ILLUMINATION-Curated

Race. Politics. Culture. Sometimes other things. Almost always polite. Find more at https://steveqj.substack.com