Relationships and Psychology

The “Win-Win Volley” in Sustainable Relationships

Enhancing relationships through mutual understanding

Kenneth Silvestri
ILLUMINATION-Curated
5 min readMar 9, 2024

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“It takes two to know one. What is the pattern that connects the crab to the lobster and the primrose to the orchid, and all of them to me to you?” Gregory Bateson

Photo by Kampus Production from Pexels

From working for the past forty years as a family therapist, I have found a simple but profound prerequisite to having a rewarding relational experience, one that is beyond what we are accustomed to and seldom recognize in our everyday interactions.

Imagine your daily encounters occurring within win-win volleys, like being on a ping pong table. If you spike the ball, you and whoever you are communicating with both lose.

This can be construed as lacking synchrony.

However, win-win communication is based on harmony, improvisation, empathy, and mutuality when sharing a common context.

This framework opens the door to many possibilities that bring relationships to a new level. It is an assertive means to “soften” one’s being.

The consequence of such a shift is that you can savor the “creative energy” of mutual learning as a work of art and what it means to be interdependent.

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Kenneth Silvestri
ILLUMINATION-Curated

Dr. Kenneth Silvestri, is a psychotherapist, certified homeopath, poet, and author of A Wider Lens; Train Romance; and Legacy Poems, www.drkennethsilvestri.com