When They Say They Have a Black Friend Ask Them Follow-Up Questions
Their deflections needs to stop
I know many Americans wonder why Ebony and Ivory cannot live in perfect harmony, as Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney’s song poses to the listeners. Maybe they are tired of hearing about race and want to pretend that we are already friends and allies. The truth is that we can live in unity but not now and no time soon. We must do the serious work of creating a system where Black and white people acquire equal rights and justice. On that day, these inter-racial friendships will be all the rave. However, we cannot skip steps to get where we want to go. America and many other countries still treat Black people as subhuman. If this makes you angry, you are on the right track.
Too many white people say, “I have a Black friend” or “I have many Black friends,” as proof of why they are not racist. This remark is condescending and misses the mark. If they make the Black friend claim, chances are they are not doing any anti-racist work; they are deflecting.
Whenever prominent people become mired in a racial controversy, they’re likely to declare that “some of their best friends are black.” In reality, most whites don’t have black friends. They may have black coworkers or black acquaintances, but research on cross-race friendships has…
