Why I wanted to be Invisible
I once wanted to be unseen, wanted to be invisible. Doubting my own identity. Lately…
I once wanted my Black to be invisible
I wanted to breathe, let off steam,
And dream of peace without ignorant people leaving the pain of creating it to me
This past year has been
beautiful and challenging,
painful but empowering,
so sad but full of hope
A roller-coaster of emotions at a breakneck pace with no control
I was sad, I was scared, I was mad,
I was happy, hopeful, blessed,
I was anxious… alone…
I felt powerless,
I felt meaningless
My deepest fear was realized again: To know that I am Black and that I can be murdered for it
But still, I felt strong. Because we stood together, and we found ways to be strong. Some of us switched up with the code switch to cope with our new reality. Casually smiling on a work video call, balancing the act of acting like we’re not fighting at all for our lives just outside those four walls, and crying inside as our loved ones fall.
I wanted to be unseen, Invisible.
But I have Hope
Hope for the change that you and I can make to our immediate environment
Hope that those changes will stay because we say no to silence
Hope that a bright future is coming for us
Where Black history won’t be just for a month
Where the names of Pamela Turner,
Tony McDade,
Breonna Taylor,
George Floyd,
Ahmaud Arbery.
will be remembered for ages
Though I’m sorry that we know them in the first place
I hope despite race, we come together and say
I will remember
I will Stand out
I will be that part of the change
I will not be a victim but work on me and on us to build a better human race
I will rise because your life paved the way
And I hope our allies
spread so far and wide that
the word ally simply comes to mean “human”
I once wanted my Black to be invisible
Lately, I’ve gone from
Can I take a break from my Black to
Can I take my Black and make a change that could impact generations
So that they may never have to take a break from the reflection in the glass.
