Have you ever found yourself wondering what it truly means to be human?
Why We’ll Never Fully Understand Ourselves (And Why That’s a Good Thing)
Understanding What Makes Us Human — Why the Answers Are Elusive and How Accepting the Mystery Could Change Your Life
Originally published on my SubStack
Perhaps the thought struck you when you were taking a shower, driving alone to work, waiting in line at the grocery story, or maybe like me, it haunted you during your sleepless nights. It’s one of those questions that lunges at you when you don’t expect it.
Questions like, “Who am I? What drives me? Why do I do what I do? Can I ever truly understand the essence of my own nature?”
This question doesn’t always merely stem out of curiosity, but rather emerges from the core of our being. It feels innate to want to understand yourself, like a deep-seated drive that pushes us to explore further, to question everything, and to find meaning in the chaos of our existence.
We build philosophies, write books, create art, and study science — all in a grandiose attempt to grasp what it means to be human. But here’s the issue:
Despite all our efforts and centuries of inquiry, we’re still left with more questions than answers.
The Duality Within Us
Human nature is a puzzle, and like any good puzzle, it’s made up of countless little pieces. On one side, we have our biology; our genes, neurotransmitters, and hormones that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. On the other side, there’s our environment; the culture we’re born into, the people we meet, and the experiences we gather along the way. The infamous Nature vs Nurture debate. Together, these two elements shape who we are, but they don’t tell the whole story.
Let’s start with the biological side. You’ve probably heard it said that we are our brains, that our thoughts and feelings are nothing more than the result of chemical reactions and electrical impulses. There’s truth to this, of course. Neuroscience has evidently shown us how neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine are the integral players in regulating mood, motivation, and pleasure. Concurrently, Genetics, too, offers insights into why we might be more prone to certain behaviors and psychological states.
But does this mean that understanding these mechanisms will unlock the secrets to understanding the entirety of human nature?
Not quite. You see, while biology can explain how we function, it doesn’t fully capture the why behind our actions; the purpose that drives us. This is where the other side of the puzzle comes in: our environment, our experiences, and the stories we tell ourselves.
The Stories We Live By
Think back to your childhood. What were the stories that shaped your understanding of the world? Maybe it was a fairy tale, a religious teaching, or a family legend passed down through generations. These stories didn’t just entertain us; they provided a framework for understanding who we are and how we should live our lives. They instilled values, fears, hopes, and dreams that continue to influence us today.
Human nature is deeply intertwined with the narratives we create and the roles we play. We are, in a sense, the authors of our own lives, constantly writing and rewriting our stories as we grow and change. But therein lies rub: while we may be the authors, we’re also influenced by countless other factors like social norms, cultural expectations, historical events, and even random chance.
Pick any moment of your life and reflect on it. How many of your decisions were shaped by the expectations of others? How often have you conformed to societal norms, even when they conflicted with your personal desires? And when have you rebelled, choosing to follow your own path, even in the face of adversity?
These are the moments that define us, that reveal the complexities of our nature. We’re not just passive recipients of external influences; we’re active participants in the creation of our own identities. And yet, despite this agency, there’s a part of us that remains constantly elusive, beyond the reach of our conscious understanding.
The Contradiction
Now, let’s take a look at the contradictions that lie at the core of human nature. If you’ve ever felt torn between two contrasting desires, you’re not alone. In fact, I’ve found that this internal conflict is one of the defining features of what it means to be human.
We are creatures of duality. We crave personal connections, yet we yearn for independence. We seek pleasures, yet we find meaning in sacrifice. We are driven by reason, yet we’re often swayed by emotions. These contradictions are not just quirks of personality; they’re fundamental aspects of our nature, and they reflect the sophistication of our existence.
Think about it: how many times have you made a decision that felt perfectly rational in the moment, only to later question it with the benefit of hindsight? Or conversely, how often have you followed a gut feeling, defying logic, only to find that it led you to exactly where you needed to be?
These experiences expose the limits of our understanding. Human nature is not a fixed, unchanging entity; it’s a dynamic, evolving process that defies easy categorization. We are not machines, operating according to predictable algorithms. We are living, breathing beings, shaped by our past, but not confined by it.
The Search for Meaning
So, where does this leave us? If human nature is so complex, so contradictory, can we ever hope to truly understand it? The answer, I believe, lies not in finding definitive answers, but in embracing the journey of exploration itself.
I’ve come to these conclusions, not merely by trying to rationally understand this issue, but through a lifetime of personal experiences. Again, neither is independent of the other. There was a time when I, like many others, sought certainty. I wanted to understand the world, to have clear answers to life’s biggest questions. But the more I searched, the more I realized that certainty is a persistent illusion. Life is messy, unpredictable, and full of surprises. And that’s what makes it beautiful. For some arbitrary reason, I find the following quote by Brad Pitt’s Achilles, from the movie Troy, relevant here:
I’ll tell you a secret. Something they don’t teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.
Consider the following scenario which I extrapolated from Stephen Hawking’s a brief history of time: What if the very act of questioning, the act of seeking to understand, is a fundamental part of human nature? What if our true essence lies in our ability to reflect, to wonder, and to grow?
If this is true, then the endeavor of understanding becomes not a destination, but a way of being — a continuous process of discovery and self-renewal. The act of trying to understand human nature, becomes human nature itself.
The Power of Mystery
There’s something deeply liberating about acknowledging the shroud of human nature. It frees us from the need to have all the answers, allowing us to live more fully in the present, to experience life with all its uncertainties and contradictions.
Imagine a world where everything about us was known, where every thought, every action could be predicted with absolute precision. It would be a world devoid of wonder, of creativity, and of the spontaneity that makes life worth living. The mystery of human nature is not a problem to be solved; it’s a gift to be cherished.
As such, our inability to fully understand ourselves is not a limitation, but a source of endless possibility. Each of us is a work in progress, constantly evolving, constantly learning. And in that evolution lies our greatest strength.
The Journey Continues
This conclusionary paragraph does not close this conversation but rather encourages further inquiry. It asks you to think back on your own life and question your own self. Where have you been? Where are you going? And how do you make sense of the path you’re on? These are questions that only you can answer, and your answers will change over time, as you grow and evolve.
But remember this: you are not alone in this journey. We are all part of the same grand adventure, each of us striving to understand ourselves and our place in the world. And while we may never fully understand human nature, we can find meaning in the search itself.
So, the next time you find yourself pondering the big questions, don’t be discouraged by the lack of clear answers. Reminisce in the uncertainty, the contradictions, and the mystery of it all. Because in the end, it’s not about solving the puzzle — it’s about living the experience, with all its beauty and richness.
We may never fully understand human nature, but that’s okay. What matters most is that we keep asking, keep exploring, and keep growing.
After all, isn’t it the journey that makes us truly human?
