10 Reasons Why Criticism Is Out and to Appreciate Is Amazing

Why Criticism the worst thing…

Hein V 🌞🌈💖
ILLUMINATION
14 min readMay 20, 2022

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criticism is out
Photo by Karolina Grabowska: Pexels

How to Maintain a Positive Relationship Without any Criticism Whatsoever

Why criticism is out. It’s no secret that Criticism can ruin a relationship.

In fact, it is one of the main things that usually drive couples apart. When Criticism is present in a relationship, it creates an environment of negativity and hostility.

This can lead to resentment and frustration on both sides. Maintaining a positive relationship with your significant other is important, and Criticism should never be a part of that equation.

Let’s discuss 10 reasons why Criticism is out and should never be present in any relationship!

A few compelling quotes were extracted from some of the many books that Dale Carnegie wrote, called How To Make Friends and Influence People, just to show how powerful it can be once we stop criticizing and appreciate everything about each other instead.

You will see here why criticism is out:

“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.

Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

B.F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior would learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans.

By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment. Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, ‘As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.’ The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members, and friends and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.

George B. Johnston of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safety coordinator for an engineering company. One of his responsibilities is to see that employees wear their hard hats whenever they are on the job in the field. He reported that whenever he came across workers who were not wearing hard hats, he would tell them with a lot of authority of the regulation and that they must comply. As a result, he would get sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove the hats. He decided to try a different approach.

The next time he found some of the workers not wearing their hard hats, he asked if the hats were uncomfortable or did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job. The result was increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.

“Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain — and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. ‘A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’ Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot and frequent performer at air shows, was returning to his home in Los Angeles from an air show in San Diego.

As described in the magazine Flight Operations, at three hundred feet in the air, both engines suddenly stopped. By deft maneuvering, he managed to land the plane, but it was badly damaged, although nobody was hurt.
Hoover’s first act after the emergency landing was to inspect the airplane’s fuel. Just as he suspected, the World War II propeller plane he had been flying had been fuelled with jet fuel rather than gasoline.

Upon returning to the airport, he asked to see the mechanic who had serviced his airplane. The young man was sick with the agony of his mistake. Tears streamed down his face as Hoover approached. He had just caused the loss of a very expensive plane and could have caused the loss of three lives as well. You can imagine Hoover’s anger. One could anticipate the tongue-lashing that this proud and precise pilot would unleash for that carelessness.

But Hoover didn’t scold the mechanic; he didn’t even criticize him. Instead, he put his big arm around the man’s shoulder and said, ‘To show you I’m sure that you’ll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.”

In any Relationship, Positive Reinforcement is Always More Effective Than Negative or Even Positive Criticism

Let me tell you why criticism is out. Positive reinforcement is key. Whether the relationship is between friends, family, or romantic partners, a constant stream of negativity will only hurt and damage the bond between people.

Here are 10 Reasons why:

  1. Criticism creates feelings of defensiveness and resentment rather than cooperation and willingness to change.
  2. Criticism is often vague and can be challenging to take constructive action on
  3. Criticism puts the focus on what is wrong rather than what is working well.
  4. Criticism can be interpreted as an attack on character rather than on the behavior itself.
  5. Criticism can lead to a defensive stance rather than an openness to hearing feedback.
  6. Criticism often leads to a partner’s, colleague’s, or buyer’s remorse mentality — I shouldn’t see my partner’s faults because initially, they were perfect in our eyes.
  7. Criticism is out, and It destroys trust. One of the most important aspects of any relationship is trust. If critiquing and nit-picking are regular occurrences, it will eventually chip away at the trust that has been built up.
  8. It puts a strain on the relationship. When one person is constantly criticizing the other, it creates an imbalance of power and can put a lot of stress on the relationship.
  9. It makes communication difficult. If Criticism breeds defensiveness and resentment, it will be difficult for the couple to communicate effectively. Therefore criticism is out.
  10. It can lead to a breakup. Ultimately, suppose the Criticism is not addressed and dealt with. In that case, it can lead to the breakdown of the relationship, which will eventually result in a dreaded breakup which is the worst thing for your morale. After all, even the most minor disagreement can escalate quickly if Criticism is involved.

Again, Why Criticism is out, and why Should Criticism Never be Present in any Relationship?

Criticism creates an environment of negativity, which can then lead to further negative actions and behaviors.

It can also erode trust and create feelings of defensiveness, anger, and resentment.

Furthermore, Criticism is out and is often based on assumptions and perceptions that may not be accurate, which can further damage the relationship.

Finally, Criticism can be destructive to the self-esteem of both parties involved in the relationship. This should already give you an idea of why criticism is out.

It is crucial to maintain a positive relationship without any criticism whatsoever for all of these reasons.

Here are 10 Ways to see why Criticism is out and how to Avoid it:

Communicate Openly and Honestly With Each Other

One way to maintain a positive relationship is to communicate openly and honestly with each other.

This communication should be a two-way street, with both partners sharing their thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly.

When couples communicate openly and honestly, they are more likely to understand and respect each other’s viewpoints. Still, wondering why criticism is out? If communication is a hurdle, maybe we need to work a little on our self-esteem first.

Additionally, open and honest communication can help prevent arguments before they start by allowing each partner to share their concerns before they become issues.

Furthermore, open and honest communication can help build trust between partners by allowing each partner to see that the other is committed to the relationship.

Lastly, couples who communicate openly and honestly are more likely to feel closer to each other and experience a deeper level of intimacy.

Respect Each Other’s Opinions and Points of View

We often criticize easily as nobody wants to be wrong but there are so many reasons why criticism is out, completely wrong!

Respect each other’s opinions and points of view.

There will always be disagreements in every relationship, be it personal or professional. It is human nature to want things our own way and to have different opinions from those we are close to.

However, suppose we want our relationships to thrive.

In that case, it is essential to respect each other’s opinions and points of view, even when we disagree with them. When we show respect for our partner’s views, it shows that we value their opinion and that we are willing to compromise to maintain a positive relationship.

It can be challenging to do this all the time, but it is definitely worth the effort if we just stick to it without fail. The rewards are really great. Criticism is out no matter how you look at it, even positive criticism is out!

Compliment Your Partner Regularly

Make an effort to focus on the positive qualities in your partner, and verbalize those compliments.

Hearing kind words will help boost your partner’s self-esteem and make them feel appreciated.

Compliments are a great way to show your partner that you’re paying attention and appreciate them. They can also help to defuse any potential conflict by providing a positive emotional connection.

Try to keep your compliments specific, rather than just saying, “you’re beautiful.” Complimenting your partner’s actions or qualities will make them feel appreciated more profoundly.

Again, criticism is out but appreciation is the right thing to exercise.

If you can’t think of anything specific to compliment, simply telling your partner that you love them is always nice.

Complimenting your partner is one of the simplest and most effective ways to maintain a positive relationship without any criticism whatsoever. It’s a simple way to show that you care about them sincerely!

Avoid Making any Negative Comments

Avoid making any negative comments, even if you’re joking.

Even seemingly innocent comments can hurt your partner’s feelings and damage their self-confidence.

If you have something negative to say, try to find a constructive way to phrase it instead. Criticism is out and can be a significant cause of tension and disharmony in any relationship.

While it’s often difficult to avoid giving Criticism altogether, here are ten reasons why you should try to keep it out of your relationship: It can damage your partner’s self-confidence.

Criticism is out and can make your partner feel like they’re not good enough, and that can lead to a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.

It can cause tension and disharmony. Criticism is out and is often seen as a personal attack, and it can cause a lot of tension and fighting between partners. It’s rarely constructive.

Most Criticism is not constructive. Criticism is out, period.

Constant Criticism is out, is wrong, and can slowly erode your relationship and lead to resentment and bitterness. It can be a sign of a lack of trust. If you don’t trust your partner, you’re more likely to criticize them. It’s always unnecessary!

Support Your Partner’s Dreams and Goals

Showing interest and excitement in what they’re passionate about will help them feel loved and supported. And, even if their dreams change over time, continue to be encouraging — it shows that you’re invested in their well-being.

Criticism is wrong as it can quickly destroy any relationship — it’s one of the main reasons why it should never be present.

But what if you could maintain a positive, healthy relationship without any criticism whatsoever? Criticism is often destructive and unproductive, and therefore I can’t stress the fact that criticism is out and wrong, enough!

It can easily lead to an argument, and it’s rarely helpful. Instead of solving the problem at hand, it usually just makes things worse.

Avoid Making Assumptions About Your Partner’s Thoughts, Feelings, or Motives

Many couples fight because they assume they know what their partner is thinking, feeling, or intending.

However, these assumptions are often wrong and can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to step back and check in with your partner.

Ask them directly what they’re thinking or feeling, and try to avoid making any assumptions.

This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s often the best way to prevent misunderstandings and miscommunication.

Criticism is out and so wrong and destroys any relationship, sometimes quickly, and other times it can take years.

By making an effort to understand your partner’s perspective, you can help build a stronger, more communicative relationship.

Everyone experiences the world differently, and what may seem obvious to you may not be clear to your partner. Likewise, your partner’s motivations may not always be apparent to you.

If you find yourself making assumptions about your partner’s thoughts or feelings, stop and ask them directly.

This will help to ensure that miscommunications don’t lead to arguments or hurt feelings.

In addition, it will show your partner that you care about their experience and want to understand them better.

Give Your Partner the Benefit of the Doubt

In any relationship, it’s essential to give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

This doesn’t mean blindly trusting them, but it does mean giving them the benefit of the doubt when there is a disagreement or misunderstanding.

If you’re unsure what they meant by a specific comment, ask them instead of assuming the worst. If you think they may have forgotten to do something, give them the benefit of the doubt and remind them gently instead of getting angry.

By giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, you can help to avoid misunderstandings and build trust.

Even if there wasn’t a reasonable explanation for their behavior, giving them the benefit of the doubt shows that you’re willing to trust them, even when they make mistakes. This can be a crucial ingredient in maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

Seek out Mutually Satisfying Solutions to Problems

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, whether between two people or two countries and remember that any criticism is out.

However, not all conflict has to end in a battle.

In fact, many of the most successful relationships are built on the ability to seek out mutually satisfying solutions to problems. This involves effectively communicating with each other, understanding each other’s needs, and being willing to compromise. It can be a difficult process, but the rewards are worth it.

When both parties feel like they’ve been heard and their needs have been met, they’ll be more likely to trust and respect each other.

As a result, they’ll be more likely to work together towards a common goal.

So next time you’re faced with a problem, remember that there’s no need to criticize because criticism is out and unacceptable.

Try working together to find a solution instead. For example, suppose you are having difficulty communicating with your partner.

In that case, it may be helpful to sit down and discuss the issue. During the conversation, each person should take turns speaking and listening openly and honestly.

By taking the time to understand each other’s needs, it will be easier to find a solution that works for both of you.

Keep in mind that not every problem has a perfect solution. Still, by working together, you can often find an acceptable compromise. Seeking out mutually satisfying solutions is an essential skill in any relationship.

Make an Effort to Understand Your Partner’s Perspective

In any relationship, it’s essential to try to see things from your partner’s perspective.

After all, they are individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Just because you disagree with them doesn’t mean you can’t understand where they’re coming from.

When you take the time to truly see things from their point of view, it can make a world of difference in your relationship.

It can help you empathize with them, resolve disagreements more efficiently, and feel closer to them overall. This can be especially challenging when you have different values or beliefs.

Remember that criticism is out, and sincere appreciation is right!

However, by listening to your partner and trying to see things from their point of view, you can show them that you respect and care about them.

This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything they say, but it does mean that you are willing to listen and try to understand where they are coming from.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own perspective that we forget to try and see things from our partner’s point of view.

Try to see things from their point of view and look for ways to compromise. Do NOT criticize, appreciate… Criticism is out and taboo, but sincere appreciation is the best thing you can do for your partner.

It’s one of the hardest things to say, think, or do, but criticism is wrong and will always be destructive to any relationship or friendship.

Be Willing to Compromise

When two people are in conflict, it can often seem like there is no way to reach a resolution that will satisfy both parties.

It is essential to remember that compromise is not a dirty word in such cases.

Sometimes, the best way to resolve a dispute is to meet in the middle and find a solution everyone can live with.

Of course, this is not always easy, and it requires both sides to be willing to give up something to get something. Criticism is out, so compromise, improvise, and do the right thing for your sanity and happiness!

However, suppose both parties are able to let go of their rigid positions and find common ground. In that case, they may be surprised at how much they can accomplish.

We can often find far better solutions than anyone could have imagined by being willing to compromise.

Sincere appreciation is so powerful, and any kind of criticism is out and unacceptable.

Throughout our lives, we will inevitably face moments when we need to compromise.

Whether deciding where to eat dinner with friends or reaching an agreement in a business negotiation, the ability to compromise is essential for maintaining relationships and achieving success.

While it’s vital to stand firm on our principles, there are also times when we need to be willing to let go of our own needs to find a middle ground.

By being open to compromise, we can build stronger relationships and create more successful outcomes.

So the next time you’re facing a disagreement, remember that sometimes the best solution is to meet in the middle.

One of the most important books you will ever find in your entire life to cultivate the perfect relationship of any kind, is found here! Try the 21-day technique by saying and thinking all criticism is out, and start applying sincere appreciation everywhere in your life…

You will be amazed at the results.

What can we Take Away From This?

Criticism is out, but sincere appreciation is right!

It’s not always easy to maintain a positive relationship without any criticism whatsoever, but it is definitely worth the effort.

By following the tips I have outlined in this article, you can create a foundation of respect and understanding that will help your relationship thrive.

Remember to be patient, compromise when necessary, and try to see things from your partner’s perspective. Also, remember to be understanding and always put your partner’s needs first.

With a little bit of work, you can create a relationship based on mutual respect and love.

Let me tell you a little secret.

Suppose you can maintain no criticism at all times and instead appreciate everything about each other. In that case, there will always be absolute harmony, no matter what happens and no matter what obstacles come in your way.

After all, every single human being wants to feel important in some way or another.

We want to matter. We need a purpose in life! Instead of criticizing, let’s rather go on a romantic date. Last but not least…

Always remember that any criticism is out, and all sincere appreciation is always right and most welcome!

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Hein V 🌞🌈💖
ILLUMINATION

Content Creator - Earning Online, Self-improvement, Health & Wellness, Relationships - Subscribe to the trilogy: https://heinprofitcatalystsynergy.substack.com