11 Counter-Intuitive Strategies to Survive a Narcissist’s Smear Campaign

How to rise above the circumstances when the world is trying to hold you down

Melissa Kalt, MD
Published in
4 min readFeb 28, 2022


Photo by Edu Lauton on Unsplash

The narcissistic smear campaign is one of the greatest challenges for a narcissist survivor.

You think you’re through the worst of things.

You’re ready to start healing.

Then you get hit with the narcissist’s smear campaign. Talk about a sucker punch.

It takes your breath away. You can’t believe someone you loved could say such heinous things about you.

Worse yet, you can’t believe anyone believes them. It’s like your friends and family don’t know you at all.

So how do you handle the smear campaign?

These 11 strategies are counterintuitive. They are contrary to every way you want to behave.

1. Zoom out. Look at the situation from 30,000 feet. See it for what it really is. Mentally remove yourself from the belly of the beast. From an observer’s perspective, you will see the situation more clearly.

2. Focus your attention. Just because you’ve zoomed out doesn’t mean to bury your head in the sand or distract yourself from what’s happening. You need to be completely aware. You just want to focus as an outside observer.

3. Shift your focus from the circumstances to you. In the moment, the circumstances — whatever lie is being told and its resultant consequences — seem like the most important thing. They’re not. You are. Stop yourself from thinking about the circumstances and instead focus on what emotion you’re feeling. For example, “I’m angry,” rather than “I’m angry he did XYZ.”

4. Lean in, zoom in, and experience that emotion. Is it fear, anger, confusion, frustration, or sadness? Likely it’s a mix of several emotions. Take time to feel them, journal about them, meditate through them.

5. Give your mind the day (or at least 5 minutes) off. You don’t need to be sorting things out, understanding what’s happening, or strategizing here. That comes later. Focus on your feelings.



Melissa Kalt, MD

Solver of Unsolvable Problems/ Master Healer/ Physician/ Narcissist Abuse Survivor and Expert/ Author/ Mother of 5. https://medium.com/@MelissaKalt/membership