12 Shockingly Simple Truths About Happiness (That Most People Miss)
Have you ever felt like happiness is something meant for other people but not for you? Like it’s this elusive thing that you can see in the distance but can never quite reach? Well, I’m here to tell you that happiness is not as far away as you think.
As a 19-year-old university student, I used to feel the same way. Society and social media kept telling me that happiness meant having lots of money, being popular, getting good grades, having an amazing career, etc. No matter how hard I worked, I could never seem to “achieve” happiness.
But along the way, I’ve discovered some simple yet surprising truths about what happiness really means, especially for young people like us. Truths that have changed my perspective and brought me more joy than I could have imagined.
Curious what those are? Read on! I promise that this article will challenge how you used to think about happiness and maybe even make you re-evaluate your life.
1. Happiness is a choice
Have you ever wallowed in self-pity and negative thinking for days on end and then wondered why you felt so awful? Yeah, me too.
But at some point, I realized that I was choosing to focus on the negative when I could just as easily choose to focus on the positive. Happiness is not something that happens TO us, it’s something we must consciously choose every single day.
Sure, there will always be negative things we can’t control. But how we respond to them is completely up to us. When something bad happens, do you choose to throw yourself a pity party or do you choose to overcome it?The choice is yours.
2. Happiness is a skill
Just like learning how to ride a bike or play basketball, happiness is a skill that can be learned and honed over time. It takes knowledge, effort and consistent practice.
Fortunately, there are proven strategies from positive psychology that can train our brains to experience more positive emotions and be happier. Things like expressing gratitude, practicing acts of kindness, meditating, exercising, etc.
I’ll admit — at first I was skeptical. How could something as simple as writing in a gratitude journal make me happier?
But I gave it a shot and sure enough, focusing on 3 new things to be grateful for every day shifted my mindset. Over time, I felt more grounded, optimistic and yes…happier. The research was right!
What’s one small habit you can build to train your brain for happiness?
3. Happiness compounds
This next truth was a complete game-changer for me. I used to think happiness was just small bursts you enjoy here and there. Moving from one positive experience to the next without much carryover.
But the more I practiced small happiness habits like expressing daily gratitude, going for a morning walk, etc. — the more those good vibes built upon each other.
Those tiny happiness gains led me to take bigger risks, put myself out there socially, and say yes to new opportunities.Which led to even MORE happiness, success and fulfillment. Before I knew it, I wasn’t chasing happiness anymore because it was compounding automatically!
When was the last time you felt those kind of positive domino effects in your life? What sparked them? And what can you do to spark more?
4. Happiness loves company
Humans are social creatures. So it makes sense that happiness would spread more quickly in community. But just how powerful IS that social effect?
Get this — one major study found that when a close friend is happy, it increases your likelihood of happiness by 15%. A friend’s friend? 10%. And even a friend’s friend’s friend, 6%. Crazy right?
So while personal habits matter, don’t discount the huge impact we have on each other. If you surround yourself with happy, supportive people, it literally improves your mood as if their happiness is contagious!
I don’t know about you but this makes me want to call up my most cheerful, caring friends right now. Maybe over some ice cream, we can dream up our ultimate happiness pact! 🍦😄
Who are the happy people you want to surround yourself with more? How can you make that happen?
5. Happiness is not one-size-fits-all
We all want happiness but one key truth that took me way too long to realize is that happiness means something different for everyone.
There’s no universal formula or single definition. Some people feel happiest while hiking in nature, others feel it most bonding with family or helping others in need.
Of course, society and social media still pressure us to chase someone else’s version of happiness — whether that’s fame, wealth, beauty or power. But how exhausting!
Once I stopped comparing myself to others and centered my life around MY unique interests, values and strengths instead…it felt way more authentic. I uncovered a personalized formula for happiness based on discovering my true self.
So who are you really — deep down inside? And what does your ideal happy life look like?
6. Happiness is found in flow
Once I stopped chasing happiness directly and started engaging in activities that I was deeply passionate about just for THEIR own sake — happiness seemed to flow as a natural byproduct.
These were challenges that pushed me but also allowed me to leverage my strengths. Where I’d lose all track of time and even a sense of self. This is known as flow state.
Some people experience it while playing music or creating art. For me it happens when writing or coding. Time melts away and when I snap back hours later, I feel so energized. I learned that aligning your life around these immersive flow states can unlock lasting fulfillment.
What activities help you reach flow? Are you structuring your days to make them more central?
7. Happiness requires self-care
With classes, clubs, internships and more vying for our time and energy, it’s so easy for self-care to fall by the wayside as a young adult. We buy into the hustle culture myth — that more is better and if you’re not grinding, you’re falling behind. 😵💫
But after one particularly brutal semester where I completely burned myself out, I realized just how dangerous that mindset was.
Taking care of my body, mind and soul is not selfish or indulgent. It’s the foundation for sustainable happiness and success. When we operating from an empty tank and neglected well-being, how can we possibly thrive?
Now I protect and prioritize my self-care time just as I would any other important commitment:
1) Going on daily walks to clear my head
2) Turning off electronics for quiet reading before bed
3)Setting aside my Sunday afternoons for meal prepping and reflections
What’s one small act of self-care you can start integrating into your regular routine?
8. Happiness demands authenticity
After striving to impress others and maintain a certain image for years, burnout forced me to get real with myself.
I had to admit where my life was out of alignment with my true values, passions and priorities. The ones I had buried in order to pursue what I thought would bring me status or acclaim.
Reconnecting back to my core self changed everything. I found happiness and fulfillment again once I started expressing my REAL thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Not the fake persona I had created just to please others.
Being my authentic self also attracted a new community of people who liked me for me. Talk about freedom!
What parts of yourself have you been hiding or camouflaging from the world? What would it mean to accept and reveal your true self without apology?
9. Happiness starts from within
Over time, I noticed that despite positive changes in my external circumstances, my inner critic always found new things to complain about!
If only I could change this one thing about myself or my life, THEN I would be happy. 🤦♀️ Such a happiness blocking mindset!
The truth? Happiness is not contingent upon anything external validating me or my worth. Not money, beauty, fame, achievements, relationships — none of it.
While all those things ebb and flow, I have a rocksteady foundation of inner peace, self-compassion and faith in my own resilience now. I know my happiness is not fragile or fleeting anymore because it comes from within.
What’s one internal shift you want to make for greater daily happiness? Maybe practicing more self-kindness and patience for starters?
10. Happiness craves simplicity
Overscheduled, overwhelmed and exhausted — that was my constant state for years as I tried to do it all. The fatigue eventually caught up with me though.
So I started experimenting with simplifying parts my life — letting go of activities and obligations that seemed urgent but weren’t that important. Removing the constant background noise so I could focus.
At first, I felt guilty for hitting pause on the hustle grind and high achievement hamster wheel. But the spaciousness and peace of mind I gained made it SO worth it!
By identifying what’s most meaningful and saying no to the rest, I reduced my daily stress significantly. Now when I take on something new, I check whether it sparks joy as Marie Kondo would say. If it doesn’t, I don’t let it crowd out my happiness!👋🏼
What’s one “not sparking joy” thing you could remove from your packed schedule right now to create more breathing room?
11. Happiness is a moving target
As humans, we tend to adapt to improved life circumstances pretty quickly. So while I still enjoy increases to my happiness baseline when something good happens, it’s usually temporary.
I used to get so frustrated by this until I realized, the secret is to continually challenge myself to grow. When I stop seeking out new experiences and opportunities for expansion, I stagnate.
By setting dynamic goals across the areas I care about most — relationships, self-expression, creativity, health, spirituality and more — I stimulate consistent happiness.
It’s a moving target for sure. But way more fulfilling than the alternative of experiencing the same mundane routine day after day!
When’s the last time you pushed your comfort zone or tried something daringly different just for the sake of growth? What might that be?🤔
12. Happiness is a daily practice
After absorbing all these surprising truths about the nature of happiness, here is the most important one I’ve embraced:
Happiness is not some end destination I reach and get to stay forever. It’s a daily practice.
All those simple habits for self-care, authentic living, simplicity, growth, etc. — I have to choose them again and again. Sure, some days flow easier than others. But complacency is dangerous.
My happiness practice is lifelong because MY life is constantly evolving. And I’m prepared to evolve right along with it! 😊
Are you willing to let go of the idea that happiness should be easy or permanent? And to embrace it as a rewarding, lifelong path of learning and self-discovery instead?
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Whew, those are 12 truths about happiness that seriously changed EVERYTHING for me as a young person. I hope they challenge and encourage you to approach happiness in a whole new way too!
Now I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts. Which truth resonates most right now? How might applying it transform your daily happiness and fulfillment?
Trust me, you have so much joy, potential and vibrancy ahead…if you’re willing to uncage yourself from limitations and lean into new truths about happiness!
And don't forget to checkout my other stories !
