12 Things I Stopped Doing as I Grew Older
I stopped:
1. Reading sci-fi novels and other books that are intended to stir my imagination.
I’ve been reading, lots, since I was 6. Then I realized that there’s nothing like experiencing life. Nowadays, if I read, I read real life stories from real people, and preferably short ones. At least, I can resonate with a real person.
2. Thinking I can teach kids anything at all.
In my observation, modern kids, including boys (who knew?), often have far greater emotional intelligence, higher self-awareness and more confidence than many adults. They also use TikTok as an educational institution. Enough said.
3. Giving people my opinion, freely and readily.
Even if people ask for my opinion or advice, I let them ask at least twice. I want to see that they aren’t asking simply to flatter me or have a social chat. I have no interest in wasting my precious time and energy on a mini mentoring session with someone who isn’t serious about it.
4. Arguing about labels and terminology.
One and the same concept may be presented under two or even more different labels. All it takes is listening carefully to realize that my opponent and I have been talking about the same thing. Does it matter what we call this thing? Unless, of course, we’re talking legal matters.
5. Taking people’s initiative away.
I don’t jump in to manage each and every situation in my life. Work colleagues can set up that meeting, husband can make holiday arrangements (surprise me), kids can take care of their chores (often better than me). And I can get more free time for myself.
6. Walking on ice around people’s insecurities.
By the time we reach our mid-point in life (whenever that is), and thanks to social media, we realize that everyone has had their share of insecurities, traumas, dramas and unresolved psychology. The best we can do is actually do something about our insecurities, face them, get therapy if we have to, and get on with life.
7. Explaining myself and my personality to other people.
People either understand me or they don’t. They either like me or not. Some people just don’t resonate with me. That’s normal and there isn’t much I can or should do about it. The beauty of this world is in its diversity.
8. Buying tons of new ‘stuff’.
Such as new clothing, makeup, jewelry, gadgets and other nice things (thanks to our consumerist culture). I learned that expensive branded clothing doesn’t guarantee style, alas. Expensive jewelry looks ridiculous where I live. Buying less is better for my budget and better for the planet.
9. Treating extended family like the dearest people in my life.
Over the years, I met strangers who understood me much better, have been much more helpful to me and had by far a greater positive influence on my life than my extended family. I literally owe my present personality and life to few such ex-strangers who will remain forever in my heart.
10. Smiling at people when I don’t feel like it.
Yes, I have a resting bitch face, so what? When people get to know me closer, they will find me quite unpredictable and bitchy, so they should appreciate the heads-up. Plus, when I do smile, it makes a dramatic difference, according to others’ account.
11. Initiating interactions with people who never reach out to me first.
Tango takes two people to dance even if it’s an occasional chit chat over a cup of coffee. Plus, I don’t like the nasty feeling that I’m imposing myself on someone; and given my personality I can really come across as too persistent. This might work in professional life, but in personal life is a big no-no.
12. Dying my hair.
Nothing to do with the recent movement of going gray. I had my first gray hairs at 19 (thanks to one of my love dramas) and I’ve been dying my hair for almost two decades since then. Sick and tired of it. The bonus nowadays is that I don’t have to explain to people why I have plenty of gray hair — well, it’s aging, you know.
