13 “Dad-isms” for Father’s Day
A collection of some of my favorite fatherly advice.
⚡️ This piece was created for my email newsletter. You can read the original here.
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” — George Herbert
Yes, I know it’s not Father’s Day.
This is a week late, but here is a collection of “dad advice” I stumbled across last week (with some of my own thoughts following):
1. Leave things better than you found them. If you borrow someone’s lawnmower, wash it and fill it with gas when you’re done. If you’re helping someone move, be 10x more helpful than they expected. People will very quickly associate that type of behavior with who you are. You will also associate that behavior with who you are (see #12).
2. You can learn something from everyone. This shift is the best way to improve your interpersonal communication. Everyone is better than you at something — make it your job in each conversation to find out what that thing is. It will also make you interested (in the other person) which makes you interesting (from their perspective). Your conversations will instantly become more meaningful AND you’ll learn a lot. Try it.
3. Some opportunities only exist within a certain time frame, so take advantage of them. Most people want to make decisions with perfect information (myself included), but that is one of the great fallacies of living life. Risk (incomplete information) is a fact of life because you can’t predict the future. You will have to make decisions with imperfect information. An easy way to start making faster decisions is by asking yourself “What’s my best bad guess?” Do that, test, and iterate.
4. It’s never eaten as hot as it’s cooked. If you give things a bit of time, you’ll see it clear without emotions. Next time you have a heated conversation, get a good night’s sleep before you respond or make any major life decisions. It’s amazing how much a good night’s sleep, a full belly, and a new environment will improve your decision making, especially in particularly stressful situations.
5. Just because it’s a good opportunity doesn’t mean it’s your good opportunity. Additionally, just because it was a good opportunity for you then doesn’t mean it still is now.
6. You have 2 ears and 1 mouth — use them in that proportion. Enough said.
7. It only takes one moment to change your life forever. This one cuts both ways, positive and negative. You can transform your life and put yourself on a new trajectory in one instant, but you can also erase a lifetime of good decisions with one mistake.
8. Everything you do is a direct reflection of who you are. People associate your actions with who you are — make sure your actions are in alignment with the person you want to be.
9. God gave you the power to ignore, use it. You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything. If it’s not going to matter 5 years from now, don’t spend more than 5 minutes thinking about it.
10. Fault and responsibility are not the same. Something may not be your fault but still be your responsibility. This applies to work, relationships, health — everything. Yes there are outside circumstances, but ultimately how you respond to what happens in your life is up to you. This message is really about personal accountability, which is at an all-time-low in today’s world. The opposite of this mentality is victimhood.
11. Strong beliefs loosely held. Be open to everything but attached to nothing. Commit to what you know until you find better ideas, explanations, or strategies, then commit to those. A sign of intelligence is being able to hate an idea but love the person at the same time — something else that is at an all-time-low.
12. Your work works on you more than you work on it. What you work on and how you work on it shapes who you are — how the world sees you and, more importantly, how you see yourself. This reframe will make everything you do, no matter how tedious, meaningful. (You’ll find the spirit of this in the thread of many of the others included in this list.)
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. If you choose to do something, do it to the best of your ability (which is the point at which any further work would reduce the quality). There are 2 components to this: 1) choosing to do something and 2) doing it well. You can only do your best on a handful of things, which means most things aren’t worth doing. If it’s not worth doing well, choose not to do it in the first place. If it is worth doing, do it well.
Happy (week after) Father’s Day.
⚡️ This piece was created for my email newsletter, In Pursuit of Capital.
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