Jan 23, 2021
13 Fascinating Ideas About Happiness, Success & Well-Being From Books I Read in 2020
I’m carrying these with me into the rest of 2021 and beyond
Every year, I read about 10–15 non-fiction books. It’s one of the ways I hunt down life-changing ideas about personal growth, health, happiness, and overall well-being. When I find a particular book fascinating, I even take detailed notes in Google Docs — rewriting all the major points in my own words.
But despite my effort, there’s only so much I can actually remember from all these books... and that’s okay. Life’s not just about accumulating knowledge. It’s more important to implement as much of what you learn as possible.
In any given book there’s usually at least 1 idea that really hits home for me. Sometimes there’s even a bunch of them. Those kinds of ideas leave a lasting impact on my mind and potentially on my life…
Upon reviewing my year, I briefly remind myself of all those ideas gained that year. So in this article, I want to share 13 profound ideas from the books I read in 2020.
1. Attachment is the Source of All Unhappiness…
(The Way to Love by Anthony de Mello)
When we are unhappy, it’s always because we get attached to a particular thing, person, or circumstance. We come to believe we cannot be happy without ABC or that XYZ is causing our unhappiness — and that belief causes us to become unhappy. It’s never the situation itself… It’s our belief about it.
2. Problems Don’t Exist in the Present Moment
(Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle)
All of our negativity and suffering are bound to our perception of time. We either regret something that already happened or we fear something that might happen. We believe in a better future, trying to escape the present. In reality, the present is all there ever is… and it is peaceful, once we come to terms with it.
3. You Have 3 Bodies
(Integral Life Practice by Ken Wilber)
We have the physical body, made of flesh and bones. But we also have a “subtle” body, made of energies, thoughts, feelings, etc. Finally, we have a “causal” body that is beyond all form or matter. It is our spiritual essence; the unchanging center of pure consciousness that underlies all experience. We should exercise and live in a way that develops all 3 of these bodies and brings them into harmony and alignment.
4. The Upper-Limit Problem
(The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks)
Each of us has an “upper limit” of how much love, success or happiness we allow ourselves to experience. Once we go above our limit, we usually find something to get upset about. By dissolving this self-imposed limitation, our life could go well all the time. We just have to open up to that possibility and commit to observing our upper-limit behaviors.
5. You’ve Got as Much Time as You Need
(The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks)
We have a bad relationship with time. We feel like we never have enough of it. To change that, we must realize that we are where time comes from. Because time is merely a perception. It’s relative. When we take full ownership over our time, we can create as much of it as we want for the things that really matter to us.
6. Protectors, Exiles, and the Self
(Self-Therapy by Jay Earley)
Your mind is comprised of parts — subpersonalities with specific character traits. There are protectors that keep you “safe” in day-to-day life (often through some extreme behavioral pattern) and exiles that are hiding deeper (inner child parts that need to be healed). By learning to communicate with these parts from the grounded place of our true Self (our impartial, spiritual center), we can understand these parts; give them what they need and bring the entire system of our psyche into harmony under the leadership of the Self.
7. Conscious Purpose Gives Us Individual Freedom
(Philosophy of Freedom by Rudolf Steiner)
Our ability to reflect on the motives of our actions is what gives us freedom. It puts us at the cause of our actions — rather than just reacting to the world impulsively. To make good use of this ability we need to build self-awareness; practice setting up self-defined purposes and follow them.
8. The Hidden Power of Ecstasy
(Stealing Fire by Kotler & Wheal)
Ecstatic states of consciousness (“flow” and other altered states) expand our capacity to learn and perform at our fullest potential. Different social and cultural factors limit our access to these states (since they can be dangerous), but humans are constantly finding new ways to access them. With the help of psychology, neurobiology, technology and pharmacology, hopefully, we can understand these states more and use them more safely for the benefit of all.
9. Pleasantness of the Body-Mind
(Inner Engineering by Sadhguru)
All we ever seek is a certain sense of pleasantness within and without. Health is the pleasantness of the body. Peace is the pleasantness of our mind. The reason why most people don’t experience this overall well-being (which is our natural state) is that we allow our thoughts, emotions, and actions to be dictated by the outside world — rather than from the inside. The true essence of Yoga is in removing the barriers and restoring this inner harmony. Then we will naturally perform at our highest capacity everywhere we go.
10. Responsibility Is Our Ability to Respond
(Inner Engineering by Sadhguru)
We think of responsibility as a burden. By doing that, we are taking away our own power. Because responsibility is related to our ability to respond. If something happens to me, but I’ not responsible for it — I can’t do anything about it. I become a victim of circumstance. On the other hand, if I take responsibility for everything that happens, I can choose how to respond. There’s a stark difference between reacting (unconsciously) and responding (consciously) to things in life.
11. Be the Best in the World
(The Dip by Seth Godin)
We should always strive to be the best in the world at what we do — meaning the best for a particular type of person (your niche). Being the best brings exponentially higher rewards than anything below that. Therefore we need to find the thing we really want to be the best at; and then stick with it all the way through “the dip” (see idea #12 below).
12. Choose Your Dip Carefully
(The Dip by Seth Godin)
With anything worth doing, sooner or later you will encounter “the dip” — a temporary, but significant decrease in your progress and enjoyment with the given activity. If you can get through the dip, you will experience exponential growth. You will have a chance to become the best in the world at something. The key lies in identifying the dips we actually want to get through since it will take a lot of effort. If we are not ready to get all the way through the dip with something, we are better off quitting it.
13. Shift Into Your Essence
(Conscious Living by Gay Hendricks)
At any moment, we can shift from identifying with a particular, small piece of consciousness to merging with the vast, open space of our essence. This helps us dissolve tension; resolve interpersonal conflicts; tap into our creative potential and more…
Hope you enjoyed this collection of ideas. I highly recommend each and every one of these books, and I can’t wait for everything I will learn from my reading in 2021. Looking forward to share that with you too!
