3 Values That Can Change Your Outlook On Life
Excuses are exhausting, we all know it. Whether its people or circumstances there are always external factors that can be held to account for mistakes or failures. It’s the comforting way to approach hard truths and it takes the ownership away from us, making the blame game the easier alternative.
I’m not great at conflict or confrontation with others, but when it comes to myself the aim is not to hide behind excuses. To take responsibility for every emotion, reaction, feeling and experience.
I’ve always found hiding behind excuses contributes to anxieties and limits me from progress and growth. Over the last year, I have taken a conscious approach to adopt these 3 values to everything I do, from work to problems to goals.
Responsibility
To be responsible for all of my actions, emotions, responses and reactions.
The sooner you look to yourself the easier it becomes to direct where you’re going and how you want to approach things.
Ownership
Taking ownership of where I’ve been, where I’m going, what I have done and what I’m doing, my failures and achievements. Being proud of it all and looking to continue to learn.
Accountability
Holding myself accountable — because no one is more suited to this role than me. Whatever I aim to achieve is down to me and only me. The aim is to not say or target anything unless it’s going to be backed up by actions. That way I don’t let myself down and in turn, don’t let anyone else down.
Implementing changes in the way you live and approach your life is never easy and can take time, nonetheless, It can bring immediate benefits. These values have created empowerment and established more discipline, increasing my self-belief and faith, encouraging me to focus on all areas of my life more consciously.
I’ve become more engaged and aware of what I want to achieve. Which has given me back control of everything in life and meant there’s no need to look to others for success, action or motivation. Once I took action and became honest with myself the happier and more focused I became, helping me with growth and gratitude along the way.
I’m now much happier and more productive in many areas of my life.
Work
Although it can be very easy to direct negative energy and association with work, the sooner you acknowledge this is happening the easier it is to get a grip of. I have had my fair share of bad jobs and have now thankfully obtained both a fulfilling and challenging job. But it’s important to note that disliking a job whatever it is or identifying it as more than it’s worth is a personal choice. And smiling does go a long way in this. The choice is always your own in how you approach your work.
I have become more engaged and active in my work, seeking out opportunities that go past the day-to-day work routine. I put myself out there more in any situation I can and whether it’s worked for the better or not, it always gets recognised. Also providing me with more fulfilment as I’m more involved and acknowledged. I had never been particularly career-focused which I don’t think is a particularly bad thing as I look for fulfilment elsewhere. However, if I am to spend 40 hours a week in one role I’m going to make sure I am getting more than just a salary out of it. Which is a lot easier when you genuinely enjoy your work.
And that can take some awareness and conscious effort.
Overcoming an addiction
I used to be a very active runner and physically active as a whole, at 18 I was at the peak of my fitness (so far). Then going to university and enjoying new endless social opportunities took precedent. This saw my fitness deteriorating massively and presented me with a new mental block that put the idea of putting those running shoes back on further and further away, and thus the idea of quitting a new habit of smoking or eating more nutritiously on the back burner.
I smoked for 5+ years and like most had many failed attempts at quitting. It was something I identified with and something I used as a scapegoat to any stressful situations. However, a combination of becoming a dad, coronavirus and wanting to get into running again gave me what I needed to finally knock it on the head. The simple way it finally worked was by not saying I was quitting, but by telling myself I am not a smoker. And not looking for accountability externally helped too as I always thought that added expectations or pressures that shouldn’t have been required.
Running better than ever
With giving up smoking I instantly gunned for the goal of becoming a good runner again and dedicated the time most days to go out and train. Rain, darkness or extreme heat didn’t stop me from getting some form of run done on the day. It can be too easy to spend more time preparing and researching without actually going out and doing things like exercise. The sooner you take ownership of your physical well-being and act on it, the better.
The longer I went with stopping and starting health and fitness initiatives the more I realised no one can put that work in for you to improve your body. No one is powerful enough to stop you from sabotaging yourself. No one, myself included, wants to see and hear about these great ideas of personal growth followed by failure and a lack of discipline again and again.
Finding and acting on Interests
Being honest with myself helped me notice a lack of hobbies or interest being pursued which contributes to a lack of purpose, and can become quite damaging, rippling negatively into any other area of your life. Finding a passion or exploring and acting on interests is truly what will give you fulfilment which also spreads joy across your life. The power of a passion helps me overcome adversities and keeps me focused on goals and interests, more importantly, it helps me wind down during free time.
History was always an interest of mine when I was younger and is something I’ve got back into now, whether it’s through watching documentaries, reading books or finding someone to talk to about moments in time I find it offers me genuine escapism.
I have always actively engaged in journaling for many reasons and have always massively benefited from it. This developed an interest in writing and wanting to be more expressive with ideas. This is quite hard to do without a regular commitment of time and focus to try and get better at writing and become quicker at getting tasks done. It takes time, effort and a certain amount of perseverance as great ideas can often become headaches when putting them onto a page.
However, whether it’s an interest pursued through leisure or a passion, it gives me fulfilment. Positively benefiting me in all other areas of life also. There are always new things to look out for and get involved with too, creating a new area of interest in your life and taking you away from more mundane things like junk TV or scrolling your phone.
It’s taken a while but I’ve taken responsibility for my weekly focuses and targeted 3 main areas of my life which will benefit me. By doing this I have improved output and developed enjoyment, not overwhelming myself with too many focuses and taking full control of all of them. I even manage to get the occasional Medium article done.
From a personal perspective adopting new principles to live by and putting them into action has allowed me to focus on myself and get some results I wanted. They may not be big in the grand scheme of things however overcoming small goals one at a time is invaluable. Especially when reflecting and knowing my circumstances never got the better of me.
Responsibility, ownership and accountability have guided me to a new area of personal development that seemed a long way away a short time ago. The progress I have made has not been huge but it’s certainly laid down the foundations to future successes and is building me a new mindset to progress from here on in.
Perhaps, it could do the same for you.
