3 Important Books You Must Read To Help You Navigate Human Interactions
Let’s jump right into it
To climb the human social ladder, you have to develop appropriate social skills and know how to apply them to your advantage. Your skills in negotiating, making great first impressions, and your mindset all play a role in your success in your career and life.
It is crucial to understand how to navigate the complex world of human interactions — for instance, avoiding conflicts, making new friends, and persuading colleagues.
So how can you do this?
Well, everything begins with understanding that you can always improve how you communicate and interact with others, as well as your understanding of human psychology.
There is a ton of theory available in books and blogs, and of course, there are varied ideas in research articles –some of which I have found useful over the years.
However, my article on this topic is to make that journey a lot easier for you. So here are three books I found to be the most useful and practical in that regard.
Influence: Science and Practice
I read Influence: Science and Practice by Dr. Robert Cialdini a few years ago, and I still apply its main ideas regularly. It explores ideas on persuasion and how they can be effectively utilized in a variety of social situations. Although Dr. Cialdini, who is presently a Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Marketing, is an academician who specialized in social psychology, he presents the ideas in a clear and easy-to-understand manner, making the book relatable and practical.
His book explains how these principles can be applied in everyday life as well as on the job— such as in sales, negotiations, marketing, and advertising.
One technique I often use is the “rejection-then-retreat technique," which is based on the rule of reciprocity. You can increase the chances of your request being accepted by making a larger request — which will likely be turned down. Then, subsequently, make a smaller request — which was the one you wanted. For instance, if you want to get a colleague to agree to cover your shift for 1 hour, you could start by asking him/her to cover for 3 hours initially, then negotiate down to the 1 hour you want.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of those classic self-help books most people will come across at least once in their lives. Written by Dale Carnegie in 1936 — it’s been around for a long time. Dale focuses on practical and easy-to-apply principles for enhancing interpersonal relationships and improving communication skills. Principles that can be immediately applied — for instance, I used to be a stoic teenager who never smiled without a genuine reason until I read this book. One significant idea I picked up from it was the importance of smiling when interacting with people. Especially before making a request. I apply this every day and it works like a charm
Other timeless advice includes; remembering to use people’s names, becoming genuinely interested in others, being a good listener, and making others feel valued.
Carnegie also discusses the art of convincing people without stirring resistance or reluctance. This includes giving people the opportunity to save face, pointing out mistakes tactfully, avoiding confrontation, and creating positive reinforcement for good behaviors. It's a must-read.
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*Ck
This book is a bit different from the previous two mentioned. It isn’t necessarily about communication or psychology but it does have lessons on why you should not overthink or take everything too seriously.
It presents ideas that force you to think rationally and decide what to give your priorities.
Not all interactions are worth it. It’s important to disregard irrelevant small events which consume your energy unnecessarily. His ideas on human relationships are not necessarily groundbreaking stuff but his use of storytelling and humor will keep his ideas on your mind for a long Time.
Humans have evolved to interact with one another on a variety of levels and studies have shown that social connections are linked to negative or positive physical and mental health outcomes. Good human interactions create productive working relationships and closer family bonds.
You just can’t avoid human interaction so you may as well build skills in mastering it.
It’s invaluable for personal and professional development, and I believe these books will arm you with at least the basic arsenal you need. However, the principles presented in these books should serve as the foundation upon which you can build your strategies and adapt them to your social situation.
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