Mental Health
3 Proven Ways to Beat Anxiety and Become Happy Instantaneously
An inquiry into the human mind with 3 simple ways to rewire it
The problem of anxiety in the 21st century is not new. And these articles and books with catchy headlines suggesting cures for anxiety are not new either.
But this goes without saying that anxiety is really a big problem globally. According to research, an estimated 275 million people suffer from anxiety disorders.
Having read tons of books and articles, I started experimenting on myself with different ways to cure anxiety. Some worked for a while, some not at all and some even increased it instead of decreasing it.
I am not claiming I invented these ways or they will work for everyone. I just found these three ways most logical and most effective for myself after years of struggle with anxiety and depression.
Tomorrow is the byproduct of desire. Past a byproduct of memories.
“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” - John Keating, ‘Dead Poets’ Society’.
Children have comparatively fewer desires than an average adult, hence there are no constant thoughts of the future lingering in their minds. As a result, they worry less about things that might not even happen.
But as we grow, we become more conscious of the world around us and of the possibilities it can offer. Thus we start looking forward to a glorious future and keep thinking about tomorrow constantly.
Future has the power to suck energy from our present. It lives off the energy from the present. Of course, it does because all we have is present. The more we are into the future, the more energy is needed to be drained from our present to fuel it. That’s why adults are so lethargic because they have their thoughts extended far into the future. On the other hand, children are so energetic because most of the time they live in the moment.
Where does this future come from? It has no existence in reality. It is just a by-product of our desires. Similarly, the past has no existence in itself either. It is a by-product of our memories. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have any desire or memory. It simply means we should be conscious of overthinking the past or future. Because if we are not, our train of thoughts wanders from one station to the other directionless and every such unwatched and undirected process drains us heavily.
What to do:
We all know that all we have is today — this moment only, still we constantly regret the past and worry about the future. The very first thing to accept is that there is nothing wrong with us. Neuro-physically we are made this way that whenever our brain encounters any threatening thought of the future, it starts thinking about it extensively. It does so to prepare us and help us go through it in the best way possible.
But most of the time, that threat of the future is unreal and it is a by-product of our habit of overthinking. Now, if we become conscious of this and try to suppress or divert our attention from it, our brain’s alarm system goes off and it categorizes that threat as even more real and dangerous. So, all the attention will be diverted to that probably nonthreatening thought.
The best way to train the brain to get out of this exhausting thought loop is to think that very thought all the way through. Most of the time (and during a given period of time) we think the very same thought for days until it is sorted or replaced by some seemingly bigger threat.
We repeatedly imagine the scenario in our mind and think out every dialogue, action, and reaction to the action. However, we always forget what we have thought about a moment ago, and after some time we run the same loop again.
Nevertheless, if we write everything — what we’ll do, how we’ll act and react — our brain can sort the mixed-up thoughts and get out of them.
Here’s what I do: Whenever I find myself worrying about the future or wandering way too much into the past, I write that whole thought process down. More importantly, I save it somewhere and at the end of it I write this, ‘I am worried about this thing today and I’ll come back here again and write whether it was worth so much trouble or not.’
The majority of the time, it will be not. So once I go back and write there that it wasn’t that much big a deal as my over-thinking made it, the next time when I overthink about some other future threat or past memory, my brain will be re-wired to not take that much load about it — even if I over-think it. Because now it will remember that I was anxious like this earlier as well for nothing and it will bounce back to the present moment very quickly.
Don’t take life so seriously. Be creative or else you’ll become destructive
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou
Why do we say ‘God created Universe’ and not ‘God produced Universe’? This is because production is done with some purpose. A utilitarian thing is produced by production that has some market value.
When God created the universe, there was no purpose in creating. There was no end result to which he must be looking forward. He got everything he wanted just by creation.
There is a subtle difference between creation and production. When there is a purpose to some creation, it becomes production. Both processes, however, may produce the same good but the created things will always be invaluable. It could be marketed but the creator will not create it for selling purposes as all the purposes are fulfilled during creation itself.
There is a short story to explain this. Vincent Van Gogh drew many invaluable paintings. It is said that he didn’t sell any. One day his elder brother sent a person with money to buy paintings from him. That person approached Gogh and randomly selected a painting and offered money to buy it.
Gogh understood immediately he must be sent by his elder brother. As he refused to sell it, the elder brother came to him and asked, ‘For what do you create so many paintings if not for selling?’ Van Gogh replied, ‘I get all that is needed during painting itself.’
However, had he made his paintings for money and not just for the sake of creation, or if a musician plays music not just for the sake of it but to earn money or even for applause, then it is business. That is not creation. That is production.
If we go to the temple to either ask for something or to thank God for something, to express gratitude, in both cases the prayer is attached with the result. In the first case, the result is in the future and in the latter, the result is already achieved.
But if a person lives in present, then he gets everything in just being there in the temple. For such a person, going to the temple is the reward asked and answered. For him, doing something is a reward in itself.
What to do:
Don’t take life too seriously.
Seriousness is a disease. As a child becomes serious, he becomes sexual. Anxiety is increasing among children and so the age of sexual maturity is declining very rapidly.
Once a person becomes anxious, the energy has to flow out somehow. Most of the time, it is through sex. One other way is to bring creativity into life. One who is not creative, his or her energy will flow out in other ways. The anxiousness has to find a way out.
The more anxious a society becomes, the more it will be driven by sexuality.
Hence by releasing energy outwards, a person will become external. External here means such a person will do destructive work which drains him out of the energy he has. A person will either be creative or he will definitely be destructive —he will find other ways to get anxious energy out — through anger, sex, or violence.
But by creation, the energy turns inwards and the person becomes internal. It opens new doors for that person.
How do we define being creative?
Being creative is making a non-utilitarian thing — painting, dancing, singing but just for the sake of these. Not to show someone, neither for the applause or appreciation nor to sell.
Creation is invaluable — with no purpose or utility.
We should always keep doing some creative work in life. Something that brings intrinsic joy to us. Something whose end result doesn’t concern us at all.
Increase your playfulness. Be creative or else you’ll become serious in life. And believe me, you’ll become a pain for yourself and the people around you — like most people nowadays are.
Watch yourself to tame yourself
“Taming the mind is the path to happiness” — Dalai Lama
“If you will do something at the behest of someone, then you can also do the opposite at the behest of someone else. So do what your heart tells you”
What to do: 3rd person perspective of oneself:
Take some time out every day to just observe yourself from the perspective of a third person. What do I mean by the third-person perspective? Imagine yourself as a person watching you from far away — how you eat, how you walk, how you react to different people and situations, how you get angry at the slightest provocation.
When I started watching myself just for five minutes every day, I noticed that I cause myself unnecessary pain for no major reason. For example, I watched myself from the perspective of a third person while I was bursting into flames in anger, and I thought what the hell am I doing? Why am I giving myself so much trouble just to prove a point? and all my anger dropped midway then and there.
Most probably you’ll also laugh at the foolishness of this person(you) and see how uselessly he acts and reacts in such situations. You’ll notice how many useless things he utters just to decorate his ego.
Once we start observing ourselves, we learn about ourselves and we realize that we waste a lot of energy on utterly useless talks and acts.
If you can’t watch yourself during the act, try to remember immediately after the act how you reacted. Just observe, don’t judge. Don’t beat yourself up. Do not plan anything for the future. Just repeat the scenario and watch your behavior.
How to stop prolonged suffering:
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
In Indian culture, the greatest form of suffering is considered to be of the soul and it is said that the soul suffers the most after the departure of a loved one from the life — be it through death, breakup, or simply because life makes us part ways with some dear ones.
Suffering is really necessary for our growth as a person. It does shape our personality for the better. The untamed mind, however, is always in the habit of prolonging the suffering until time heals it.
Time will heal but we can expedite the process and we should because we’ve got only one life and I think we should spend as much time laughing and enjoying as we can.
“We are tourists here. We have no other purpose other than celebrating everyday”
A human being is an animal of high intellect. Unlike other animals, it can rewire and control his mind in ways that are most beneficial to him. So I can do that too.
When I find myself suffering for way too long, I start by smiling for no reason. I do play-acting. I fake smile when I’m alone. I laugh for no reason. If possible, I play some songs and move a bit. I dance as if no one is watching.
If you’ll also do all these for some time, at the end of the day you’ll find yourself light and in a better mood than before. Slowly, your brain will get rewired and it will not be able to differentiate between play-acting and reality. Then, using this technique you’ll be able to pull out of any suffering very quickly.
“The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.” - Bob Harris, ‘Lost In Translation’.
Final Takeaway:
- Try to be in present. Leave future and past.
- Be creative. The utility is not enough. Don’t worry about your character all the time. Become playful, Leave Seriousness.
- Watch yourself. Start by closing your eyes and watching yourself intrinsically. Observe yourself from the inside first. Then from the perspective of a third person.
