3 Simple Steps to Letting Go
— free yourself from your difficult past
Letting go is not as easy as it sounds, so I don’t take it lightly. A few years ago, I was led to face some issues from my past, things I thought I had dealt with.
I didn’t enjoy it, but I knew it was God’s way of leading me into more freedom.
Letting go is difficult. It’s difficult because to heal our past hurts, we first have to acknowledge them, and then revisit the pain, which is hard.
Although I was aware that it was just a process, it was still sad. I also had an underlying fear that I was going backward and that I might get stuck in that place. It was exhausting!
Letting go of emotional pain is a tiring process. It’s hard to believe how we cling on so tightly to our pain.
Let me explain the process to you, but bear in mind this is not the first letting go process I have been through.
We don’t let go in a day, it’s a process that takes time but if you are gentle with yourself, it’s not as hard.
3 Steps To Letting Go Of Your Past Hurts
1. Accept your past
Accept it. It is what it is and you can do nothing to change it now. It’s simply part of your history.
Accept that your pain is preventing you from living fully and it is depleting your energy. Accept that you are finding it difficult to let go of the hurt.
Ask God to help you. It takes courage to let go. It is not an easy task and those who do it are the strong ones. It is not a weakness to let go.
We hold on tightly to our pain for a reason. We somehow believe it is helping us. This is where you need to go deeper and ask yourself, ‘what am I gaining from holding on to the pain?’
Forgive yourself for holding onto this for so long.
Usually, the child in us (the inner child) thinks, if I hold on to my pain, I am staying safe, that it is protecting me in some way and no one can ever hurt me again.
We also believe that if we let go and forgive the people who hurt us that we are condoning it, but this is not true either.
What forgiveness says is, ‘I don’t agree with what you did, but I’m going to forgive you anyway.’ You are not a doormat or a fool. You are doing this for you— to set you free.
2. Share your story with people who care
Express your pain to supportive people in your life or a trained professional, someone who understands the healing process.
This will free up the emotions to help you to use your adult mind to co-operate with the process.
The wounded inner child does not want to let go as it’s afraid.
When I say the inner child, what I mean is that part of your mind that stays stuck in the past and is still thinking like a child, and because it is wounded, it is afraid of change.
It would rather stay stuck in negative feelings rather than take the risk of letting go and moving into the unknown.
3. Let go of being a victim and be a survivor instead
Take personal responsibility for your part in it. Yes, you were the one that was hurt and you have every right to feel angry (I know, I was the same).
It is true, you were wronged and what they did to you was unfair, but the part you need to take responsibility for is holding on to it. You are not a victim, but rather a survivor.
Being a survivor is a much more empowering position to be in and at the same time, you are not forgetting or minimizing the hurtful actions of others.
Accept that it happened and that you are powerless over the past, but you are not powerless over your future.
You choose to accept it fully and make a decision to let it go. Then, look at your gifts and talents and focus on building a positive future.
Where do you begin? You begin right here and now — in the present moment.
Dealing with life’s hurts is a painful process, but you can rest assured, you are not alone. Everyone was hurt in some way, by someone. It is wise to seek help if it’s causing you problems in your life today.
You can seek professional help, find a support group or just start by talking to a close friend or family member.
Getting started is the hard part, but once you find the right people, it gets a lot easier.
If you decide to face your past, you won’t regret it as it will free you up and restore you to your natural, happy self.
Condition yourself towards a more positive mindset. Set your mind on higher things and train yourself to feel powerful.
Letting go involves feeling the difficult emotions so you can understand them, and then releasing the ones that are holding you back.
Disclaimer:
I am not a counselor. I am a trained life coach with a background in nursing. I am sharing my story of letting go with you in the hope of helping others on the path to peace.
I continue to work on my emotional and spiritual growth as I see it as part of my life path now.
