3 Strategies to Combat Networking FOMO
Making the most out of your networking without feeling like a sleazy salesperson
I moved to Toronto for graduate school.
Of all the information that’s been fire hosed at us over the past few weeks, there is a consistent theme of advice from professors, students, and alumni. They all heavily emphasize ‘networking.’
That’s great. Except for the million-dollar question — How to meaningfully network?
Making connections is the easy part. After all, there are many events, meetups, and conferences to attend. Most people are friendly and approachable. It’s not hard to get a conversation going about X topic.
The challenge is, what happens next? What happens when you go home with a bunch of LinkedIn connection requests? Still buzzing from the event’s energy and engaging conversations.
Life gets in the way. The memory of making interesting connections fades into the background as you go about your daily errands. Being ghosted by a connection you made or falling out of touch is not uncommon.
Learning how to be persistent and follow up consistently is a different ballgame they don’t teach you in school.
I recall being a social butterfly during my undergrad. I attended several events and conferences for networking purposes. I was exposed to a ton of knowledge and people. At the time, I thought I was doing the right things. But looking back, attending those networking events had a very low ROI (return on investment).
Why? Because I don’t remember 99% of what I learned from those speaker events. Plus, all the jobs I’ve held up to this point, I acquired through cold outreach. No referrals.
That’s not to say you can’t find value in attending networking events. Some people have found good connections and jobs through this medium. Maybe I’ll, too, someday.
But so far, this approach of blindly attending networking events hasn’t worked for me.
I’m not afraid to put myself out there. My challenge is being intentional with these networking events. Especially when you’re surrounded by smart and competitive peers in grad school who seem to be networking left, right, and center. This makes me seriously afraid of missing out (FOMO) since I want to be successful and relevant like everyone else.
So now I’ve shifted my thinking. I’m not letting FOMO drive my attendance at these networking events anymore.
Focused networking > Networking for the sake of networking (aka flying blind)
Put another way,
# networking events you attend are a vanity metric.
# of meaningful connections you make is more important.
Audit your network — How many connections do you know can vouch for you personally? How many of them can advocate for you when you’re not present in important rooms where decisions are made?
It seems like common sense but worth noting when it comes to building careers; just like any other relationship, professional relationships take time and effort to compound.
Relationships are often a function of physical proximity. That’s why the relationships you forge through school, work, and sports are the closest.
Relationships forged thru networking events? In my experience, they tend to be shallow and surface level until you take the initiative to follow up and keep it going. And there is a limited number of people you can do that with.
That’s why most traditional networking events are a waste of time. There are more efficient ways to use your time. Here are my three favorite strategies to connect with people who can help you become more successful:
1. The best networking opportunities are in close-knit, exclusive, and smaller-scale communities.
It could be your cohort peers at school. It could be coworkers at your job. It could be an informal community, such as a faith group you’re part of. It could also be a more formal community like Lean In circles for women.
The common thread? Small groups that meet regularly breed familiarity. Familiarity contributes to the strength of relationships. It means more support and people willing to go to bat for you.
2. Start writing online. Show your work publicly. Build something of value and give it freely.
When you broadcast your thoughts on the Internet over a long period of time, you become a magnet to like-minded people who want to connect with you. Also called building an audience. Finding your tribe. Whatever you want to call it, LOL.
My point is to let people find you instead of you chasing people to ‘pick their brains.’ In other words, do something notable that would make people want to network with you.
3. Reconnect with old ties.
This could be former classmates. Former colleagues. Go back to people you haven’t talked to in a while. There is a reason people say — Old is Gold.
These ‘dormant ties’ can offer new information you may not have considered. Because since you last spoke with them, they’ve probably acquired knowledge and connections that could benefit you too. Plus, there is the added benefit of trust and familiarity of reaching out to an existing but old relationship.
The above strategies are easier said than done but still a higher ROI activity than attending a bunch of events and trying to make new connections.
That said, there is still a value proposition for networking events. Particularly industry-specific conferences where the who’s who gather to discuss the latest developments and where the industry is headed.
But before I sign up for a traditional event, I ask myself:
Am I going to this networking event to check a box on my to-do list and to avoid peer-induced FOMO?
OR
Am I going to this event because I resonate with the agenda topics, people, and companies that are going to be in attendance? Do I have a specific goal to accomplish? And no ‘connecting & learning’ doesn’t count. Be specific about who you want to talk to and why. Also, think of how you can add value to these people/companies.
Be selective in who and what you dedicate your energy to. Your time is important. Damn the FOMO. No matter how popular or hyped the event is. If I don’t get a hell yes feeling, I’m not attending.
What networking approach has worked for you? I’m always looking for tips to better connect with others. Tell me in the comments below!
