5 Lessons From 5 Years as a Muslim
What I wish someone had told me when I first converted to Islam
After five years as a new Muslim, here are five key lessons that have made a difference in my spiritual life:
1- The value of community
Being Muslim alone is hard. When I converted, I felt like I didn't have the vocabulary or the knowledge to build a lasting connection with my new brothers and sisters.
Here is what I realized: finding a sense community doesn't have to come in the form of a big mosque or an Islamic center. Find yourself a group of people, big or small, where you feel part of a team. It can even be a WhatsApp group! Personally, I found belonging in a group of six amazing women. We all came from different backgrounds and provided different perspectives to the conversation. Just like that, I felt less alone.
Just as importantly — be there for other people. Connect to new Muslims and seek to help those who are also struggling. Knowing you're not the only one going through a hard time can feel incredibly validating.
2- Learning to ask the right questions
It took me years to realize that all the Islamic content I was consuming was at odds with my own beliefs and personal approach to religion. I kept listening to the same “celebrity sheikhs” over and over again, struggling to make sense of how this all applied to my life. I now realize that they came from a particular school of thought. They were embedded in a cultural context completely different from mine and presented a specific interpretation approach, which wasn’t obvious to me at first. Being able to discern schools of thought and their socio-political context helped me understand their positions and whether I wanted to follow their interpretation.
On that note — religious literacy is indispensable in the study of all religions, especially Islam. This free online course below provided by the Harvard Divinity School gave me the necessary tools to build a better religious foundation and ask better questions.
3- The importance of context
Like many Muslims, I used to try to skim through the whole Quran during Ramadan. I wanted to feel this amazing spiritual bond with the text but I could hardly understand the meaning of its words — even with the English translation! It just wasn’t working from me, I didn’t feel like I was actually gaining more insight into Islam.
Once I took the class I mentioned above, I started recognizing the importance of the asbab al-nuzul (the context of revelation) of each verse — what our Prophet was going through when they were revealed, the challenges he was facing, the cultural norms of pre-Islamic Arabia. This has completely changed my approach to Quran reading. Understanding the context of the Prophet’s lessons allows us to truly engage with the Quranic message, its beautiful teachings, and how it all applies to our lives today.
4- Feed the soul!
I love an academic approach to the Quran. But at some point, you need to balance things out by focusing on spirituality. An important part of building any strong lasting relationship is nurturing love. Our relationship with God needs this too! Make sure you read or listen to things that feed your soul.
Here is what has worked for me:
- Listening to lectures by Sheikha Ieasha Prime, like this one:
- Learning more about Sufism. I found this essay by Seyyed Hossein Nasr particularly interesting.
- Writing duas for the 99 Names of Allah. This is a lovely practice a friend of mine introduced me to. Write personal duas that relate to each of the attributes of Allah (see Noor Tagouri's post below for some inspiration). I also found this website useful when trying to understand the meanings behind each of the names.
5- Baby Steps
If I am being honest, it took me five years to feel like I had some grounding on my learning and spiritual path. Don't judge yourself for not being at the same level as other Muslims. Don't compare yourself to other people. God made us unique and diverse for a reason — there is no one "right" way to be Muslim.
What I try to do is use Ramadan to incorporate a new habit every year. For example, one year I stopped drinking. The following year I started attending jummah prayers weekly. This year I will try to stick to praying every morning when I wake up and before I go to bed. Pick a practice that makes sense to you and commit to exploring it until the next Ramadan.
I truly hope this was helpful. Just remember — find what makes sense to you and people who inspire you to love your religion instead of fearing it.
"I follow the Way of Love, and where Love’s caravan takes its path, there is my religion, my faith.” — Ibn Arabi
