5 Simple Strategies to Make Conscious, Thoughtful Decisions
Because having it all figured out simply isn’t an option
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Whether it’s a decision regarding your relationship, life, career, home, children (you know, the significant ones) or deciding what take out to get, where to eat, what film to put on or what book to read (the not-so-significants) — decision making is tough.
Having multiple decisions to make may be stressful at the time of making them, but honestly, it’s an incredibly fortunate position to be in.
Each decision you make equates to your life story, your path and your direction.
It’s normal to not know what to do, and to take your time thoughtfully considering each decision that adds to the pieces of your puzzle. It shows you’re taking conscious steps towards deciding your own path instead of having someone else to decide it for you.
With any decision comes a period of discomfort. There’s no avoiding this — you simply have to get comfortable with the idea, feeling and navigating through the discomfort to come out the other side.
It’s all part of the process of making thoughtful choices.
There are a few strategies that can take the sting out of decision making, let’s go over them.
Particularly for fellow Libras out there — this one is for you.
Remove pressure from yourself
It’s easy to unknowingly pile on the pressure on yourself out of desperation of making some progress, any progress. In reality — emotions get heightened, judgements get frayed, your brain gets foggy and everything becomes a bit murky with no clear way through.
Conscious, thorough decisions aren’t the product of hasty snap judgements.
Firstly: most things in life are reversible, so unless the decision you’re making falls out of that category, then you can rest easy knowing whatever you decide isn’t a permanent decision.
If you make a decision now that you’re out of touch with in a few years, that’s also fine.
Remember — whatever decision you make now simply can’t be future proof. Your circumstances, relationship, location, age, preferences, feelings, wants — everything — changes as time does.
Understand whatever decision you make, or path you venture into is right for you at this very moment. It may not be in a week, a month, a year or ten. But at the time you’re about to make this decision, you’ll have made the most concise, thorough one you possibly can do.
Allow yourself to understand you’re only ever going to try and do the best for yourself. It may not be perfect, but you’re actively making it the best decision for you right now.
Trust your gut, your intuition, your knowing
Simply take the time to listen to yourself — not others.
All the answers you could ever need are inside you, right now. It just requires a little honing in, getting really quiet and listening deeply to allow them to surface.
The key here is being inside you. You are your own best compass.
It’s natural to want to talk decisions through with others. Especially those who may have experience with other options.
But with this comes the influence, opinion and judgement of others that will severely impact your decision, even if you think it’s easy to brush off. They will sit, quietly niggling away and influencing your own decision process.
Whenever I’m trying to decide on something and having my classic Libra decision-crisis, I avoid discussing it with others. It only ever heightens the overwhelm and decision making that step further by having to also consider how another person (that by divulging in them, you care about and trust) would approach it.
Make it easy on yourself and resist discussing decisions that affect you primarily with others.
Remember their input on your dilemma is fuelled by their personal experiences, thoughts and feelings of how they personally would approach it. They aren’t you — they can’t make the right decision for you or put themselves in your shoes, so to speak.
Only you can (this is an incredible position to be in!).
Here’s a method to try:
If you’re struggling to hone in and listen yourself — try flipping a coin (yes, really). Assign each side to a decision, once flipped, you’ll get an immediate feeling of relief or dread.
It’s a non-committal way to peek into what you truly want and how you truly feel.
Give yourself time to experiment
Accept that you don’t need to have it all figured out, and you likely never will do. This is normal, this is ok. This is exactly where everyone else is (they just don’t show it) — rest easy knowing you’re not alone.
Experiment with your different options that you’re debating. Try them out, allow yourself to be curious and follow your curiosities.
Curiosities are another form of gut feelings, a more in-tune development of passions and where your inner desires surface.
Don’t pressure yourself too much with the semantics of what’s a gut feeling, what’s a curiosity or what’s intuition. They’re all guiding you to the right path, just by a slightly different inclination.
Whatever piques your interest — anything at all, try it out. Particularly those that you’ve flirted with in the past and perhaps told yourself it’s not for ‘people like me’ or ‘that’s for others, not for me’.
It is for you. That, and much more.
Don’t deny yourself of following these desires. It may lead you to life-changing discoveries of passions and talents.
The great thing about experimenting is that it’s non-committal. It’s simply just that: an experiment. Another invite to relieve the pressure on yourself and simply allow yourself to enjoy the process of decision-making.
Ask yourself questions
Questions lead to answers, those answers that are already inside you — they just need a little love and coaxing to surface.
Ask yourself questions about each option that’s circulating in your head — both the big and the small. Record your answers. Read them. Reflect on them. Learn from them.
The key here is to learn about yourself. Deeply, truly and openly.
Being quiet with yourself allows the truth to surface. Quite often that you’re too scared or hesitant to discuss with others.
It’s so easy to forget that you are the safest person to have these conversations with, though likely teamed with the strongest judgement. It’s at this time that kindness and compassion that you would show to a friend divulging these with you, you practice and show to yourself.
Remember: be gentle with yourself at a time of decision making — when you’re overwhelmed, vulnerable and trying to learn about yourself. It’s not an easy process.
For any decision, big or small, I find the best way to figure out the right (or most consciously considered) path is through journaling.
Until recently I habitually and consistently journaled daily in a notebook. I recently switched to Day One journal (Apple only) and it’s even more powerful.
The notion that journalling must always be being a profoundly huge + deep practice can be left right here.
Your journal is a safe, non-judgmental and, most importantly, private space for you and your thoughts. Use it as you wish — however you feel you will get the right answers out of you is the right way.
Simply just take an action
If all else fails — pick the option you feel most drawn to and try it out.
Whether it’s right or wrong, pretty much immediately you’ll have a feeling of whether it’s right for you. This gut feeling perhaps didn’t have enough commitment to show itself prior, but once it’s signalling it’s hard to ignore.
If it’s wrong — that’s ok. Better, perhaps. You’ve tried it out, realised you don’t like it and can tick it off for things to ignore in future. This is often more powerful as you’re practising the discovering of your own desires.
Without making this decision, you could have always been wondering if.
What if I had tried that path, what would have happened, what would have come of it — it may have circulated with you forever. You’ve tried it, realised you don’t like it and can take steps towards the right one for you.
See it as a positive, a learning experience and thank yourself for being brave enough to take the leap.
Takeaways
- Remove pressure from yourself. Piling it on only causes increased and unnecessary stress.
- Trust yourself. You already have all the answers inside you, take the time to listen to them.
- Experiment. Explore your curiosities, interests and whatever piques your fancy.
- Ask yourself questions. Get quiet, gentle and patient while truly get to know yourself.
- Take an action. Right or wrong — it’s the right action to take at that very moment.
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