5 Ways To Stop Your Past From Haunting You
You can walk with peace now.
I already said this before, and I am going to say this again:
You won’t move forward if you won’t let loose of your past.
Most people are too busy assembling refuge from bricks stained by their past. No, we can’t build a castle out of guilt, self-doubt, and trauma. Even if we do, could it even provide solace for us? How can we take shelter inside it if emotional burdens are tattooed on its walls? How can we heal if its ceilings remind us of our painful history?
Here are 5 ways to stop our past from haunting us:
1. See your past as a memory.
Like a tale-old photograph hanging on the wall, see your past as only a memory. None of its characters still exist now.
When you grow up, so are your beliefs, principles, and identity. The version of you who believes you can’t change is different from your current self who believes self-improvement is possible. You might still have a long way to go, but the fact that you began to see life through a hopeful lens is a sign that you are moving forward.
2. Be kind to the older version of you.
At some point in our lives, we all have become a little too reckless and a little too stubborn. We could age like fine wine, but there will always be a part of our older self that we despise. Certain points like letting an opportunity drift away due to our shyness, declining a job offer, or refusing to start publishing earlier could haunt us in our sleep.
Unless we acknowledge our past mistakes by being kind to who we were once, such burdens will remain our worst nightmares.
3. Recognize your improvement.
It’s no use to be too consumed by the long miles we still need to track. It’s also essential to look back, recognize the distance we covered, and reward ourselves for it.
Motivation isn’t a requirement; self-discipline is. But it’s no wrong thing to occasionally long for it. Motivation isn’t always in front of us. What we can witness ahead is nothing but the lonely road.
Sometimes, it is merely on our back: on the small improvement happening before our eyes. On that extra rep you put in the gym yesterday, on that one additional prospect you phoned in, on that new chapter you added to your novel, on that previous day where you told yourself, “I gonna give one extra push!”
4. Release the need for perfection.
If you were once a flunking student, you don’t need to earn straight A’s now to redeem yourself. If you think you started publishing online a little late, you don’t need to write 10 articles daily to catch up. If you were too soft before, you don’t need to clench with an iron fist now to show courage.
All the times you fell short, allow them to be only a fraction of your story. You don’t need to suffer now by filling the gap of your past.
Trying to be perfect now isn’t the key to healing your previous self.
5. Focus on the present and future.
The points of your life where you only have a grip now are your present and future. These two are synergistic. The way you shape your present shapes your future.
If you are doubling your efforts now, your chances of winning in the future are higher. And if you’re heading downhill now, so will your future be.
The past? It isn’t part of the loop.
So you can drop it now, and focus on your present and future.
By the way, I wrote a mini-workbook for anyone who wants to write every day but is afraid to do so. If you want to learn how to build a healthy writing habit, maybe this free e-book could help.
