6 Personal Development Exercises to do as a couple
The goal is to create the life of your dreams and become the person you want to be, rather than letting circumstances decide for you. This approach is usually done in a personal way.
So it is also important to know where your level of happiness lies as a couple. What is going well, what is not going well and what are the things you would like to improve?
Here are 6 personal development exercises to do as a couple:
These exercises take time, so plan several evenings and moments together where you can devote yourself fully to this reflection.
Write your Bucket List
You have certainly already heard of the “Bucket List”, which includes everything you dream of doing in your life.
From small, simple pleasures, to big projects or great trips, write down everything that motivates you and resonates within your relationship. Think big and dream big! Aside from difficult things like attending a Celebrity concert together..., let your imagination run wild.
There must be at least 50. You’ll see, it fills up quickly!
Here are some examples:
– having children
– going on a dog sled hike in a Nordic country
– going to see a film at the cinema where there will only be two of you in the room
– climbing a peak over 4000 meters above sea level
– spending a whole day in bed cuddling
– adopting a dog
– flying in a hot air balloon
Create a vision board
Once you have a head full of dreams, move on to the next step: the vision board.
A vision board is a set of images, photos, or sentences illustrating your dreams. To make things come true, it is important to write them down, but it is also important to visualize them!
Pinterest is an extraordinary tool to create your vision board because you will find thousands of beautiful images there. Don’t hesitate to cut out magazines, all media are allowed.
Once you have made your vision board, hang it in a place that you pass by every day and that you can therefore see regularly. However, it is a very personal object, which reveals many things about you and your couple. So think instead of hanging it in a place where few people will be able to see it, like in your bedroom for example.
Take a happy assessment of the year that has just passed
Looking behind you to see all the positive things you experienced in your cup that made you happy is beneficial to keep moving forward.
Answer these few questions together and discuss your feelings:
1. What were your 5 happiest and most fulfilling moments last year?
2. Name 5 simple pleasures that you experienced last year that made you happy.
3. What dreams did you achieve last year?
4. What are the things that you managed to put in place last year that make you happier in your relationship today?
List your little pleasures
While the Bucket List is a lifelong endeavor, it’s also important to plan simpler, more accessible things that you can do throughout the year. Make a long list and, at the end of each month, decide together what little pleasures you’ll allow yourself the following month.
Here is a non-exhaustive list:
– cook your favorite dessert together
– go see a movie at the cinema
– have a meal delivered to your home
– treat yourself to a whole evening without a phone or computer
– invite a couple of friends you haven’t seen for a long time
– go for a walk in the forest
– treat yourself to a new decorative object for your home
List all your activities
In addition to the many hours you spend at work each day, you most likely have a long list of tasks waiting for you when you get home.
Between housework, shopping, meal preparation, and children’s homework, you no longer have the opportunity to take time for yourself or your relationship. However, this time is essential to your happiness and your romantic fulfillment.
To know what you dedicate your time to and if it suits you, make a list of your activities and note the approximate number of hours it takes you per week.
If you don't do the same activities, you can do it individually and put them together later.
Then group these activities into categories and calculate the amount of time you spend on each of them every week.
The goal of this exercise is to see which activities take up too much of your time compared to what you would like, and on the contrary which ones you would like to do more often but for which you do not have enough time.
Once you have established your balance sheet, imagine for each activity to which you do not devote the time you would like, one or two actions to get closer to what would represent your ideal daily life.
Here are some examples:
– spend less time preparing meals each day: set aside one or two hours on the weekend to cook and anticipate your meals for the week, or decide to have a meal delivered once a week.
– spend more time just as a couple: hire a babysitter one evening a week to look after the children and give you an evening as a couple.
– go on vacation more often: if you are short of time because of your work, plan small two-day city trips. There are certainly plenty of great cities to visit within a few hours of your home. If you only stay there for one night, the expenses will not be too high and it will allow you to disconnect and enjoy a special moment for two.
Write yourself a love letter
To end your exercises in style, here is a particularly moving one... Write your lover a love letter. Tell him/her what you like about him/her, what you loved doing with him/her last year, and what you would like to experience together in the coming years.
You can decide to read it together at the same time or to set aside time each on your own to discover it.
