7 Signs They Might Be the One

Marriage isn’t for everyone

Meghan Madness
Jul 24, 2020 · 5 min read
Photo by Michelle McEwen on Unsplash

Sometimes it can be so challenging to know who is genuine, and if they’re worth the time. We can waste months if not years on somebody, deep down, knowing they are not the one. However, there are many signs that we should recognize that could point us in the direction of knowing who could last the long haul.

I’ve struggled multiple times, one time was a ten-year relationship, he was awesome sexually, yet because of that, I paid no attention to his flaws. We are still good friends, but I ended up wasting ten years of my life that I could’ve used to find my forever mate.

Sometimes we get caught up in the insignificance of sexuality and the little things in a relationship. We fail to notice the detrimental missing pieces.

1. They know how to communicate

This is number one for a reason, without communication, you have nothing.

One good sign that your person is the person is that they are capable of communicating without becoming irate, or dismissive. My previous relationship drastically lacked communication. When I would try and communicate, or express myself, I was dismissed.

Being able to communicate ensures that both parties are capable of expressing concerns when problems arise. Holding issues in, or dismissing them, leads to constant fighting and lack of trust.

2. They are Genuine

I’m sure we have all had our fair share of “that’s not how you were before!” Scenarios.

What is being genuine?

Being genuine is being who you say you are. Not lying or pretending to be someone else to avoid conflict. Five years into my last relationship, I discovered, my ex didn’t like a lot of the things I liked. Even though, he pretended he did to make me happy.

If you don’t like something, say so. Not being genuine only causes issues for both parties, and unnecessary conflict in the future.

3. They can think logically

Being emotional is healthy; it’s what makes us human. However, without being capable of thinking logically, there’s always going to be arguments.

My ex was very emotional; he didn’t think logically. He would jump the gun at any opportunity without thinking of the consequences.

Thinking logically just means that you take the time to evaluate the situation before you act on emotion. The stability of being logical ensures that you are capable of making decisions, or communicating, with sound reason Instead of speaking without thinking.

Perfect example, my ex came home from work early and exploded on me because I was dressed in lingerie, he flipped out as if I was hiding somebody in the closet. He came to find out that I was making him a sexy video. I understand the immediate concern with that scenario; however, approach that situation logically. Instead of jumping the gun, ask questions, and assess the situation before freaking out.

There is a time and place for emotion. And there’s a time and a place for logic. But you should be capable of a applying both.

4. They can be independent

Nobody likes to come home seeing your partner sprawled out on the couch with chip crumbs all over the microfiber.

Independence in a relationship is a must; it ensures that your partner is capable of taking care of themself. Not because it makes you bad if you don’t work, it’s not about working. It’s about knowing how to be independent.

I’m a stay at home mom, however, I am self-sufficient, I take care of the home and my child. You don’t have to work to be independent.

Being independent means, you understand the sacrifice and value of being responsible for your actions. And you know how to stay true to the responsibility of being an equal half in a relationship.

If your partner is independent, that’s a bonus for you!

5. They aren’t self-centered

Nobody likes a partner who puts themselves first; we also don’t want a partner who denies themselves while they put you on a pedestal. So, where's the balance?

I struggled a lot in my younger years with being extremely needy, I didn’t care how it affected my partner, I wanted it, and I wanted it now, regardless of how he felt.

Being self-centered proves firsthand that somebody is incapable of seeing the importance of others beyond their own desires.

If your partner is capable of putting others' needs for theirs, that’s a good sign. It shows that they are concerned with more than themselves.

6. They share similar values

We can’t expect our partner to be exactly like us. However, sharing common ground is a must in a relationship.

Serious issues, like politics or religion, can be hot topics when arguing. If you are unable to agree with the person at their core beliefs, you may have problems communicating.

It’s Important in relationship to share similar values. However, it’s also important to converse about topics you disagree with. Sharing the same values ensures that you are capable, and compatible, to grow together.

7. They are emotionally available

With my ex, I would cry about my feelings, and he would actually take the car keys and leave.

No one likes to be dismissed, especially if you are expressing concerns. Being emotionally available means that they are capable of being there for you in times of trouble. By being empathetic and compassionate.

If your partner is attentive to your needs, that ensures they aren’t oblivious to feelings. Not only is it essential to be emotionally stable for the relationship, but it’s equally important when it comes to the well being of both parties.

Things to consider

We can’t expect to date a clone of ourselves, I mean, would you even want to?

People come and go out of our lives for a reason. However, there are many signs to recognize. When you have a genuinely compassionate, trusting, honest, and healthy partner, we tend to look past the valuable assets and focus on sex, looks, and money.

We have to evaluate our counterparts as potential life long partners. If we aren’t happy in the beginning, that’s a sign that they aren’t our mate – the “one.”

They say when you know you know.

ILLUMINATION

We curate outstanding articles from diverse domains and…

Meghan Madness

Written by

I Write about Sex💋Humor🤪and Life🌎Founder of Dirty Little Secrets 😈I Want to stimulate all your senses. Proud Mother, Writer, Nympho, and world healer.

ILLUMINATION

We curate and disseminate outstanding articles from diverse domains and disciplines to create fusion and synergy.

Meghan Madness

Written by

I Write about Sex💋Humor🤪and Life🌎Founder of Dirty Little Secrets 😈I Want to stimulate all your senses. Proud Mother, Writer, Nympho, and world healer.

ILLUMINATION

We curate and disseminate outstanding articles from diverse domains and disciplines to create fusion and synergy.

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store